My immortal beloved
by Imperio
Summary: Lily and Severus are teamed unexpectedly. through mysterious happenings and strange owls they grow close,learning that they have a lot in common.
1. Many Meetings

**_A/N: First introductive chapter. Action and plotmovement coming soon! Please review when youve enjoyed it (or not);-)_**  
  
The Great Hall was packed with barely awake students, yawning above their toast or porridge. The enchanted ceiling gave away a breathtaking sunrise that was being born on the horizon. Most of the older students however were too used to this and missed natures beauty. Only the frst years were fascinated by the occurence. When a flock of owls, all colours and breeds, besieged the Great Hall with the call of morning post, students were getting excited at the prospect of a novel. Severus Snape wasnt surprised that no owl swooped down in front of him and was far too used to it to care.  
  
Sitting at the Slytherin House table, eyes narrowed, he watched the movement at the Gryffindor table, with a particular dislike. Much as though he hated facing them while eating, expierence had wisened him not to turn his back on them.  
  
It was the second week of his fifth year at Hogwarths School of Witchcraft and Wizardry wich was, as many of the teachers repeatedly reminded them, the most important one of them all. Due to the O.W.L.s coming up at the end of the year, determining their future career path or ...at least, so the teachers seemed to think...  
  
The jarring bell that announced the start of the first class woke him out of his thoughts, he swept away, towards the 4th floor where he was due for one of his favourite subjects: Defence Against the Dark Arts. His fellow Slytherins followed in his shadow, uttering disdain about the class and teacher, Professor Hesling.  
  
"Really, this place is going to the dogs, what with all this Mudblood filth, I dont know why I dont just pack up my things and leave for Durmstrang", Evan Rosier said much to the guffawing pleasure of his gorilla- ish sidekicks Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
Only Zacharias Zabini voiced what Severus thought:  
  
"Because frankly, Evan, your parents could hardly afford to have you here let alone at Durmstrang. If not for the generosity of the Malfoy family you'd probably be stuck at a Mudblood school"  
  
The beginning of a small smile played on Severus' lips and before a riot over the correctness of Zacharias's words could erupt, the class door magically swung open, inviting them all in. It was true, the Rosier family was neither wealthy nor influential; it was their contact with the Malfoy family that kept their son at school.  
  
Severus chose his regular seat at the back of the dark, high-ceilinged classroom concealed in the shadows where he felt at ease. It didn't take very long before all students had leaked in and had taken up their places. _The "comical duo" James Potter and his lapdog Sirius Black had seated themselves two rows in front of Severus who noticed that Potter had, once again, chosen a place where he could freely stare at his precious Mudblood, Lily Evans.  
_  
Severus snorted, he had to hand it to her, she at the least had good taste. The whole school knew he was after her like a lovesick puppy but she wouldn't have anything to do with him. She seemed to notice, unlike the other Quidditch fangirls that his head was filled with air rather than brains.  
  
Lanky professor Hesling had entered the room, smiling indulgently at them and spoke in his deep rough voice: "As undoubtably my fellow colleges have told you, this year is the most important year in the beginning of your magical career. So assuring myself that you'll do yourselves justice, I shall assign all of you on a special project. I have devided you all into pairs; each pair will study one of the Forbidden Curses, or Unforgivables. I want a 5 foot essay on it, no exceptions."  
  
With a swish of his wand, a piece of paper appeared in front of every student while the Professor continued: "I have paired you myself and I shall not accept any requests of re-pairing. Pairs were chosen as to exclude any... romantical involvements when you should all have your wits about you the most." Pausing only to enjoy the effect of his words on the faces of his students, he ended his speech with "You will find your assignment and the name of your partner on the paper in front of you together with the reserved hours for you in the library, which I have arranged so that Madame Pince won't fuss over a shortage of books and an overload on students."  
  
Severus took a deep breath, hoping for the love of Merlin, he wouldn't find the names of Black or his sycophant shadow Potter on his parchment. He flicked the paper and traced the words... He was to do his essay on the Imperius Curse, not too bad.... What he saw next drained the little colour in his already pale face; Hesling had partnered him with Lily Evans...  
  
She must have read it at the same time, he saw her head turning towards him with as much surprise in her green eyes as he had just expierenced . Inclining his head in the smallest of nods he went back in cursing his misfortune in silence. Of all students he had to work with a Mudblood, moreover, with Potter's Precious Mudblood.  
  
Still, it is far better then either him or Black... and she does seem to have a sharp mind. She is even quite a good at Potions, he thought grudgingly, leaving only himself at the top of the class.  
  
Hesling had waisted no time for the assignment, his first Library-evening was scheduled for tomorrow When the bell had sounded the end of the lesson, the whole room was full of excited whispers, and the exchanging of names and papers.  
  
Zabini bowed over to Severus "Well what's your price, Severus?" Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed the parchement out of Severus's hand and started reading.  
  
"At least she's got half a brain, look at mine" he grinned sardonically, thrusting his assignment forward.  
  
"You have my sincerest sympathies," mocked Severus, having just read that Zabini hit the first prize in the Gryffindor Lottery, James Potter.  
  
"I'm sure I have...we should leave for Transfiguration, Severus" said Zabini. The rain was now clattering madly against the magnificent big windows that surrounded the corridors. Severus froze as he heard a snobbish voice calling out behind him.  
  
"Snivellus."  
  
Ignoring the posh voice of James Potter, Severus continued making his way towards the second floor. The taunt now went from "Snivellus" to "Snivelly" and finally he turned round when it became -  
  
"Hey Snape!" Severus's fingers wrapped around his wand, he whipped around facing James Potter.  
  
"Potter surely after five years even the likes of you should know my name...and what is it that you want from me this time?"  
  
"A warning...Snivelly.... I know you've been paired with Evans and..."  
  
"Ah yes," smirked Severus, "I thought we might hit that little snag..."  
  
"I'm warning you," Potter repeated, "If I hear one word about you giving her a hard time..."  
  
"Potter, unlike you I have better social taste... and taste in partners... so I can assure you that no harm will befall your precious Mudblood."  
  
Ghastly quick, Potter had his wand out and looked just about ready to strike... when Professor McGonagall's voice boomed all the way from the door of the Transfiguration classroom, which they were opposited to.  
  
"Potter, what do you think you are doing?", Her hawklike eyes swepped over the scenery, "Twenty points from Gryffindor and the four of you get in here now!"  
  
The following evening, Severus decided to leave early for the library, hoping to be able to read up a bit more on the Imperius Curse alone. He arrived ten minutes later in the almost completely and found it almost deserted, when the quite scribble of a quill on parchment caught his attention. It was Evans.  
  
Her mane of dark red hair swept back and forth following the movements of a handsome white quill.  
  
Sweaping towards the mahogany table, he looked straight into her face as she smiled up at him.  
  
"Evans," he said coolly.  
  
"Snape" she said, without the usual scowl or insult her housemates usually pronounced his name with.  
  
He seated himself at the opposite end of the table and grabbed some parchment and quill from his bag.  
  
"Ive been here for a while already, reading up alot and have actually find quite a few interesting things. Yes...I've been doing some minor research on the Imperius Curse -"  
  
Severus looked at her with a mixture of suprise and disbelief. _Perhaps she had fallen mouth first into a cualdron of Babbling Beverage?  
_  
"Let's get started ...shall we?" he said softly.  
  
"I seem to have found all the effects," she pointed at a neatly written paragraph on her parchment. "Perhaps you might like to see if I've missed anything?"  
  
"Perhaps I should." Severus glared at her, snatching the parchment from under her fingers.  
  
_Surely this silly girl does not think she has found all the effects of the Imperius Curse in some library books?_  
  
She, however, wasn't wrong or silly, and had indeed named all of the effects produced by the Imperius Curse...perfectly. Having nothing to critisize, he handed the parchement back, as his lips thinned into a pained smile.  
  
"Let's get started on the history of the Curse," said Severus softly, his black eyes glittering.  
  
He noticed an odd look in her eyes as she nodded, summoning a couple of books closerby.  
  
They worked in silence mostly, and spoke only in relevance to the assignment; "Collected Works of Current Curses". The scratching of their quills steadily improved... As though one did not want to be bested by the other, at least not in quantity.  
  
Severus glanced up at Evans discreetly, through curtains of greasy black hair. She had the tip of her tongue between her full lips as she wrote. Her eyes followed her quill, her hair fell in waves around her face...  
  
Then he called himself back into reality when he heard a distinct ruffle coming from the Magical Zoologi isle followed by an annoyingly familiar voice, trying to whisper... trying to spy.  
  
"It seems your fan club has decided to pay us a visit, probably to defend your honour, since I am obviously taking advantage of you." Severus scowled.  
  
"I can't be bothered entertaining them, really" she said, rather coolly.  
  
"I thought you'd be flattered, having Potter's full attention," he sneered.  
  
"Listen," she threw the quill down angrily. "I thought, that at least you might be different! I am not some sort of airhead impressed by the first Quidditch player who comes flying by!" she nearly shrieked.  
  
Madame Pince's voice suddenly ushered a commanding "Sssshhhht" and she flicked her wand threathingly.  
  
"Sorry," said Lily, seemingly both to Madame Pince and Severus who had had his eyebrow arched.  
  
"I think we should continue working at a later date, as you are obviously in no condition to do any further research," Severus sneered, and banished the Library books back to their original spots on the shelves.  
  
"Fine, be like that" she said whilst packing away her things. Her long hair carelessly flew in front of her very green eyes, but she did not seem to notice, or care. "Goodnight, Severus." Lily waved impatiently as she walked out of the Library. 


	2. Unexpected Owls

**A/N: This chapter carries a few lemons with it, none to subtle.**  
  
**_Chapter 2. Owls_**  
  
Night had long unwrapped its black velvet cloak before Severus fell asleep. Even then he felt troubled, green almond-shaped eyes were appearing frequently in his dreams. When he awoke he pushed them from his mind, trying rather to focus on the fascinating Potions lesson up ahead, where they would be brewing the "Draught of Peace". A potion that was, funny enough, often used to calm the students in dire OWL-stress. Severus found Zabini waiting for him in the dooropening:  
  
"You seem preoccupied my friend," Zabini smiled, his blue eyes glittering suggestively.  
  
" Thank you for your concern but this is merely the result of a startling lack of sleep" spoke Severus, waving his hand impatiently, making his way to the Great Hall.  
  
Lily Evans was already there, lost in thought, jabbing her fork into her scrambled eggs without eating them. Around her the morning bristle had taken place. The beginning of the new Quidditch season was the latest subject, rumours about who would be joinging were plenty. Quidditch didnt fascinate her so she didnt bother paying any attention at all.  
  
Alice Mckinnon, a 7th year Gryffindor waved her plump little hand in front of Lilys face, snapping her out of her dreamy stare. "What is wrong with you today Lily, you looked like you were trying to stare down a Hyppogrif" Nancy whispered.  
  
"Oh nothing Alice, just a bit sleepy..."  
  
" It hasnt got anything to do with your...'assignment' has it?" Alice said with a delicate stress on the last word, inclining her head not so subtley towards the Slytherin table.  
  
"As a matter of fact, it hasnt," Lily answered and seeing the enquiring look on Alices face she continued, " It was quite ...enjoyable really, he is very intelligent."  
  
"Its not his intelligence that bothers me ... " Alice began, but before any of them could persue the subject further, a flock of owls barged in carrying with them, the usual morning post. Several owls made their way to Gryffindor table, some unlucky ones sinking their claws into butter or bread.  
  
A particulary proud looking barn owl nestled himself close to Lily and dropped a small white envelope on her lap. Lily immediately recognising her mothers handwriting, tore it open.  
  
_Dear Lily,  
  
I know you have a lot on your hands and we did agree differently,but I must ask this of you.  
  
Could you try and manage to get home for Christmas?  
  
I cant tell you everything but something has come up, it has to do with your father.  
  
Please write back as soon as possible.  
  
Love, Mum  
_  
Lily froze, a bad feeling develloped in the pit of her stomach. This didnt sound like her mother at all. It was too secretive, too cold.  
  
She could easily go home though she had planned to spend the first few days on studying and revising, in preperation for the O.W.L.'s. But she couldnt ignore this. After a moments thought, she hastely grabbed a quill and parchment and scribbled:  
  
_Mum,  
  
Ill be there. Expect word from me on it soon.  
  
Huggles Lily_  
  
The barn owl grumply allowed her to put her answer in his beak, ruffled its feathers pompously, and soared into the air again.  
  
Severus was enjoying a steaming cup of Earl Grey, when a beautifull eagle owl landed gracefully infront of him. Slightly suprised, Severus took a folded brown piece of parchment from the owls extended leg, and unsealed it with a quick tap from his wand. The Gringotts logo glittered on top, some of the ink barely dry.  
  
**_Mister Severus Snape,  
  
You are hereby kindly requested to make your presence at Gringotts Bank as soon as possible, where a key to one of our vaults will be assigned to you .  
  
Sincerly, Asgook Headgoblin._**  
  
_"This had to be some kind of mistake",_ Severus thought,_ "I have no vault at Gringotts."_  
  
He was sure the Care-Witch, whom his father had left him with, after dissapearing when his mother had died, had no vault secured for him. Her feelings of maturnally love streched as far as to feed him and gave him a bed to sleep in.  
  
This has to be a mistake, his mind repeated as Severus stuffed the parchment into his bag and made his way toward the Potions classroom, the Eagle owl flew off digusted by the lack of gratitude shown at the delivery.  
  
Tuesday came round soon and Lily found herself in the library once again. She threw her long plait over her shoulder just as Severus's thin frame appeared in the corner of her eye.  
  
"Severus," she said, nodding a greeting. "Evans."  
  
They worked in silence, just like the previous time, translating ancient Latin text on how to bewitch the mind and influence free will, when Lily heard Severus whisper:  
  
"You are quite ...gifted... in Latin, for a Muggleborn, that is. Muggleborns rarely have affinity with these matters "  
  
"Oh... thank you" Lily said, feeling insecure of what to say.  
  
" I am merely stating the truth. ."  
  
He went quiet at what followed, completely baffled by her overemotional reaction.  
  
Her voice was raised and her eyes were full of fire... "Are you stating the truth, or quoting something typically expected of a Slytherin? Because I didn't realize that you are acquainted with all the Muggleborns at Hogwarts."  
  
"And that was a typically expected Gryffindor retort," Severus hissed.  
  
"Trust me when I say that this coming from a person who hardly knows me, who is hardly aware of my existence, doesnt affect me that much," she said angrily.  
  
There were nose to nose now and she was sure he was going to find another arrogant remark that would justify her slapping him, when he whispered :  
  
"You are Lily Evans, 16 years of age, a very skilled witch who has an admirable hand in Potions, and exceeds us all in Charms. You also have the most beautifull eyes I have ever looked into and your smile brightens my day... But of course, I am not at all aware of your existence," he said, with his usual sarcasm.  
  
Wordlessly she stared at him, suddenly shocked into complete silence... And he kissed her....  
  
Lily did not object as his soft thin lips pushed hers apart and their tongues met in the middle.  
  
For what seemed like minutes they just stood there, entangled in a passionate kiss wich he broke up. The world around them disappeared as they were holding on to eachother. Her tender frame was leaning agains his thin body.  
  
"Not here," he whispered, hastily packing his things. A moment later Lily followed his example.  
  
Lily paced nexto Severus as he lead her up to the 7th floor, where he started pacing before the tapestry of Barnabas the Balmy trying to teach trolls to dance the ballet. Muttering: "We need to be alone.. we need to be alone....we need to be alone..."  
  
Panicking slightly, Lily thought hed lost it when a beautifull door materialised out of nowhere leading the way into a gorgeous high-ceilinged room surrouned by two large windows. There was a WWN-box wich was displaying a enchanting tune, a few darkred roses were spread here and there. Huge fluffy pillows replaced seats, the room itself ws filled with a warm navyblue carpet and one very large two persons couch.  
  
"What is this place?" she uttered in amazement.  
  
"This is referred to as the 'Room of Requirement'," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I discovered it when I was in great need of peace and quiet"  
  
"Its absolutely amazing" said Lily, turing around in his arms.  
  
Their lips met again for what felt like an eternity and his arms grew more possessive of her body. She felt surrounded by him, his masculin scent filling up her nostrils a mixture of asphodel and ginger.  
  
"Are you aware that this...envolvement...is going to be quite sensitive should certain people find out about it?"  
  
"I know",she whispered,"perhaps it would be better if we keep it .." "To ourselves?" Severus finished her sentence.  
  
For a minute she looked upset but she nodded nevertheless.  
  
"Your Head of House for instance, will be very unpleased if she hears youre getting corrupted by a Slytherin" he mocked.  
  
"Or perhaps shell think Ill have some good influence over you"  
  
She relaxed and nestled herself in his embrace again.  
  
"We have to get back, Im afraid" he spoke, gently kissing her cheek. "Unlike Potter... I do not have the Headmasters privilege of unlimited leisure time."  
  
Potter...his brain reminded ... and by the look in her eyes she was thinking exactly the same. But before she could speak he shrugged stiffly and said, "Nothing I cant handle." though his dark eyes were set with a strange emotion.  
  
Lily merely nodded as the Room of Requirement door opened and she made her way towards Gryffindor Tower, Severus watched her being berated by the Fat lady for waking the latter from her sleep.  
  
Severus set out for the dungeons himself when a deep warm voice called out his name. He looked up into the face of Albus Dumbledore, whose blue twinkling eyes surveyed him cautiously.  
  
"Headmaster." Severus stopped.  
  
" I take it you have been working on your assignment with Miss Evans?" The Headmaster asked kindly. The library was nowhere near where Severus was at the present but he kept his face emotionaless.  
  
"That is quite correct Headmaster" Severus said smoothly.  
  
"Very well then" smiled Dumbledore his crocked long nose looking down on Severus.  
  
"Good evening Headmaster" Severus parted in a final sort of tone as he resumed his way to the Dungeons.  
  
_Was there really nothing the old man missed?_  
  
It was like he was ever-present in this castle and knew about mostly everything that was happening around him. No matter what his housemates thought of the elder wizard, Severus knew that he was not to be underestimated..  
  
_He is a powerful wizard._  
  
Some of his housemates called him a threat ...or an obsticle. Why, he didnt know - but he knew Albus Dumbledore wasnt a man you wanted to have as your enemy. 


	3. In Motion

_**A/N: Not that much Lily this chapter, I am sorry about that but I have to center Severus in this one. It will just be for this chapter.  
  
Thanks to the very few who reviewed.**_  
  
It was neither raining nor sunny the day of the first Hogsmeade visit, but the enthousiasm of the students could not be tempered. It was a jolly crowd all excited, and plans on what to do firstly were made. Severus had made up his mind. He checked his pocket to make sure the letter he had received earlier was still there and blended in with the other students as they made their way to Hogsmeade.  
  
It had been a week since he had been with Lily and their next study in the library would be in less then a week. How very much he wanted to be with her, having this over and done with was more important,curiousity was getting the better of him.  
  
Students were leaking away, some of them strolling into the Leaky Cauldron, others making straight for Honeydukes. Severus however, strayed into Sardon Alley, one of the darker sides of Hogsmeade which, thanks to its reputation, was always quite deserted. Nevertheless he found the street extremely fascinating. The little things that blinked in the dark, creatures scutteling past, the mere smell of the place was filled with mystery. On that very moment an Imp hurtled past, trying to trick Severus who merely smiled at the Imps furtive grin.  
  
Soon he came to a small corner between Sardon - and Perif Alley where he raised his wand in the air. Almost immediately a roaring BANG came echoing follwed by the arrival of a violent purple tripledecker bus flaunting a golden sign "Knightbus" upfront. A blackhaired pudgy man in equally purple outfit stepped forward ;  
  
"Welcom o the Knighbus, rescue of the stranded Witch o Wizard. Me name is Pat Purkins and Im yer conductor. Anything ye need, just gives us a holler. Wheresabout do ye want to go?"  
  
"Gringotts," hissed Severus.  
  
Boarding , Severus paid 11 sickles for the busride when the conducter yelled "Take her away Ern!" at the young darkhaired driver, who put his foot down immediately.  
  
The bus was not only a danger to the people inside but just about anything outside was in harms way aswell. Lamposts jumped out of the way, other cards moved aside when the purple horror came speeding by. A large three bend over when it nearly got knocked off its roots.  
  
"First stop, downtown London" said the pudgy conductor to a hooded figure sitting across to Severus; who was hanging on for his dear life (and stomach). The figure got up and Severus thought the man had a strangely familiar look when the conductors voice bellowed: "Next stop, Gringotts". And the purple madness roared off again, chairs falling down, candles toppeling of their tables.  
  
It took, to Severus like, too long before he arrived before the magnificent marble building that is Gringotts, which was gleaming in all its might. The feeble warning for strangers and thieves made Severus chuckle. Any talented wizard could get in ..."more then dragons" there or not.  
  
Whipping out the letter from his pocked, he made his way to a particularly vicious looking Goblin who focussed him with beady eyes, quickly stuffing a sack of coins away.  
  
"Severus Snape, I am here to receive the key to a vault that was assigned to myself"  
  
The Goblin snatched the paper out of his hands, expecting forgery or fraude, only after having read the paper back and fort he said "Very well" and waved another of his kind over.  
  
"Follow me", said the smaller but equally vicious looking goblin in his highpitched voice.  
  
They reached a woobly looking cart wich Severus eyed wearily. The Knightbus had plagued his stomach enough already. Passing several darkmarble stonestairs they went, passing more vaults along their way, Severuscould swear he saw several pairs of yellow eyes gleaming from the cracks of the walls.  
  
When they came to an end it was on a floor with very little vaults, all of them were big and made of stone. There was no handle or knob it any of them  
  
"Vault 114. Please stand back." commanded the goblin, stretching a long finger ending in a razorsharp nail, wich now slashed through the heavy door of the vault, pausing only to hear an occasional "click". After a third click a keyhole appeared and the goblin pushed the key in.  
  
The huge stone door opened lazily, with a bit of a grunt. Inside was.... a packadge... No gold, no silver, no bronze. Just a single carefully wrapped brown packadge lying on a small circular stone table. Bowing the goblin backed away leaving Severus to enter the vault.  
  
Curious to the contents, Severus pocketed it quickly and allowed the Goblin to close the door and hand him the key before they made their way upstairs again.  
  
Outside Severus wasted no time in lounging around and raised his wand again. His stomach turned as the roaring "BANG" came about for the second time that day.  
  
- - - - -  
  
Lily was slightly disappointed when Severus had let her know in between classes that he had made prior engagements that Hogsmeade day that prevented him to meet with her.  
  
She had met Professor McGonagall and explained she would set of for her family in the upcoming holiday season, her Head of House was rather disappointed but told Lily to give her regards to her family anyway. Afterwards Lily had delighted an very small but energertic Scop owl by tying a note to its leg, in wich she was telling her parents to pick her up from Kings Cross Station for the holidays.  
  
She was lost in thought for a bit when she looked up and saw she had walked into a grubby little street called Sardon Alley. It was definitely not one of the major alleys in Hogsmeade as there was nobody present and the shops looked a good deal less florishable. Clearly buissiness was much more favorable in the Main Street.  
  
Her eye was drawn to a somewhat classy but older bookstore with a display that had notices such as "Ancient Charms", "Azian Hexes" and "Secretely Charmed".  
  
She couldnt help striding into the shop. There were rows of stacked books,the whole place was packed upto its neck with magic and Lily found herself automatically going for a row of old and battered books. She picked up a velvet greencovered one called "Forgotten Charms" when a voice came from behind her.  
  
"And what do we think were doing?"  
  
The voice belonged to a woman, tall and slim, she looked vaguely familiar to Lily. Her bright green eyes were measuring Lily up and down, her long fingers tapping upon the counter lazily.  
  
"Just looking", Lily said quietly.  
  
The woman just stared, which made Lily feel even more uncomfortable then the drumming of her fingers.  
  
"Are you one of those Weasleys?" she demanded of Lily.  
  
"Sorry but I dont know what you are talking about" Lily honestly answered.  
  
"I bet you are by the looks of you....that hideous hair of yours." The witch grinned as she came closer.  
  
"Whats your name then?" she demanded again.  
  
Before she could answer, a third voice called out.  
  
"Lily!"  
  
Turning about, Lily was immensely relieved to find Severus at the doorstep.  
  
A smile now flickered on the ladys face, "Why hello Severus, it sure does me good to see you here".  
  
Severus only nodded as he grabbed Lily by the arm and they both made their way out of the dingy alley. Only to appear into an equally dodgy one, where one light illuminated the rest of the street untill the very end where the merest flicker of a light appeared.  
  
"Thank you", Lily whispered with a shudder. Severus remained silent, his hand locked hers in a possessive grip.  
  
"These sorts of alley's are not safe for a... witch such as yourself."  
  
"A mudblood you mean", she said, her voice rising again.  
  
"Must we go through this again" he said softly.  
  
"Sorry"  
  
"They took refusge in a dark sidestreet where Severus took out his wand and tapped them both gently on their heads.  
  
Lily felt a sensation not quite unlike hot liquid spiraling through her spine the next thing she knew her hand had become the same greyish colour the bricks of the house were.  
  
"Desillusioment Charm",Severus answered her unasked question, wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
Once again she smelled like vanilla as he pressed his lips on hers and their tongues met again. He felt her knees buckle and tightend the possessive grip he had on her. His hands slid to her firm buttocks and rested each on a cheek. He bit her lip to wich she responded with an unvoluntairy shudder and leaning even more forward in his arms.  
  
He broke up with the greatest dislike.  
  
"Listen", he whispered," We have to get going again, meet me again this evening. 11 oclock.. our place. Use the charm to get past any...obstacles"  
  
She nodded, smiling mischievously.  
  
They broke off each going their own way, Severus watched her walk away when a strange undefined emotion came over him. He quickly ignored it.  
  
Back at Hogwarts, it was with a stroke of luck that, that evening the Quidditch Cup Trials were held and Severus had the privacy of his darkgreen velvet four poster to surrond him. He packed up all he needed and made way towards the tapestry of Barnabas the Balmy. When he entered the room looked identical to how they had left it. He knew it would take 2 more hours for Lily to arrive so there was no reason not to. He tapped the packadge with is wand and it fell open easily, dropping its content on Severus lap.  
  
There were four smaller packadges included, two of them wrapped in the same brown-coloured paper and the two others being sealed pieces of parchment. He decided on the first parchment and tapped the seal with his wand. A small glowing light led up from the parchement to his wand and the seal broke.  
  
His long fingers opend the letter, he noticed his fingers were slightly trembling in a forebidding way and started to read.  
  
_Dear Severus,  
  
If yo are reading this letter, it means I am no longer capable or even present to tell you this in person. Which, is something that saddens me even more then anything that I have come across so far or my furture has install.  
  
I have granted Gringotts the permission to send you this letter two weeks before you turn 17 so that I could warn you, should anything befall me.  
  
There will always be people that will force you to follwo a goal because of things that have been set long ago. I simply wish for you to grow up into the kind of person you want to grow into. Not "forced or "destined" or "born" to be.  
  
Choose who you want to be Severus, chose your own ways, beliefs and ambitions.  
  
My son, nothing saddens me more then not being there for you at the very moment.  
  
Inclosed you will find some treasured memories of mine along with a few words of wisdom.  
  
_On prearranged floors

The second move is yours

It is neither moving or set

The prerequisits not met

Should it all fall apart take this wisdom at hart

Turn away from the stone And the King on his throne  
  
_Love,  
  
Mum.  
_  
Severus had never felt more torn in a web of such emotions like now. There was warmth for his mother, confusion about so many things and a sudden odd sence of loss. He stared at the letter reading it at least twice more again before he dared to believe what was written. His selfcontrol snapped when he tore open one of the other small brownwrapped packadges, filled by the urge to know more...to have knowledge...  
  
Pictures... The first pictures he had from his family...  
  
A woman smiled up brightly at him while a small darkhaired boys snuggled cosy in her lap.  
  
_His mother..._  
  
He recognised her high cheeckbones as his hand glided over his own. Their eyes were identical, both as black as the night. Her hair looked just as unmanagable as his curtains of greasy hair.  
  
Another picture....the same darkahaired boy making grabs for toys his mother had levitating infront of him. The woman was smiling warmly upto the boy.  
  
And then .. a picture with a man in it. Hooknosed and menaced he had his arm tight around the same woman, he wasnt smiling anymore and the other arm commandinly around his son. The woman, his mother, didnt even remotely look the same anymore. There was no smile on her face, no kind or warm look in her eyes.  
  
Oh how he hated that man. The last memory he could barely remember was full of hatred for the hooknosed man who had once more started an towering argument with his mother causing her to cower in fright and shield her son.  
  
He could hardly tear his eyes away from the pictures but there was a stream of emotions flooding in his body, some parts of him screamed out for more...more knowledge...more memories. Though another part of him wanted nothing to do with it, wanted piece and to be left alone.  
  
_No! Delaying the pain will only make it worse. He had to continue._  
  
The smallest of packadges turned out be... a ring. A shining silver band with a beautifull gleaming emerald. He pocketed the jewel quickly.  
  
The last remaining was the second piece of sealed parchement. It was a thick piece of parchement wich looked like it had been torn out of a book. When his wand touched the seal nothing happend. Or rather, nothing happend at first glance. The tip of his wand ignited and green sparks were shot high in the air. When they had died out....the parchement flipped open.  
  
That evening had held many suprises for him but what he was staring at now baffled him more then anything.  
  
There was writting in a eleborate curly handwriting :  
  
You will sever the goal and only that.  
  
A cycle of servitude untill the cradle is filled.  
  
Should the cradle not be forfilled a first, a second shall be needed.  
  
A guardian shall be appointed to forfill the terms.  
  
There was the beginning of a fifth line but it was to torn to be read.  
  
The whole contents of the last parchment had raged through Severus mind more then anything that he has been through that day. He tried to fit tie it all together but nothing would fit, it all seemed too...weary...too surreal.  
  
Resting his head on the top of the couch he wanted to sleep...sleep and forget about it all for the moment. But he couldnt. A little voice wich most people would call a consience roared out loud within him.  
  
And then he heared her voice. It was soft and comforting .."Severus?"  
  
He, ofcourse, didnt hear her come in and was startled by her sudden presence.  
  
"Are you okay Severus?" she asked looking concerned.  
  
In response he swepped her in his arms, she was a very welcome distraction indeed as her touch of Vanilla swearmed up his nose, her soft long hair flowing against his cheek. He sat them both down and she leaned into his lap, her warm body pressing onto his skinny frame. Somehow all the happenings that evening seem to fall back in her presence.  
  
They spend a few hours talking, Severus kept what had happend to himself...for now.. he enjoyed her presence too much. He would tell her...._later.. _


	4. Smalltalk and applepie

Lily had gotten up early that day, deciding to take a shower later as not to wake up her fellow dorm mates and with a swift Warming Charm on her robes she ventured downstairs. Little light was coming through the windows, not that the castle had a shortage of light. Light was one thing Wizardkind was never short of. The impressive looking Whomping Willow was shedding it's brown leaves, a sure sign that winter was creeping about.

There wasn't going to be the usual mail call consisting of the besieging owls but nevertheless the house-elves had already worked their miracles. The tables were covered from beginning till end in delicious looking food. Marmalade, toast,tea, fruit, everything you could possibly think of.

She settled for a steaming mug of Lemon tea when she felt the familiar prickle in her neck. Severus was already at his usual spot flanked by Zabini and Rosier. She seated herself bravely _(and partially selfishly)_ facing them with a unconcerned look on her face. Her heart skipped a beat as his thick curtains of hair swayed forward just a bit, enough to give her the merest flicker of a smile. Zabini ignored her while Rosier gave her a filthy smirk and mouthed the obvious _"Mudblood"_.

Lily took pity in his unoriginality and clamped her cold hands around the steaming mug, the smell of lemons reaching her nose. She wanted nothing more then to smile at Severus but she knew it would only lead the way of trouble, not with those stooges present. Alice,who had just joined her,was in between spreading a piece of toast and opening her mouth when Professor McGonagall walked into the Great Hall. Her face, normally stern,had an uncharactiscally worried look. She towered over the Gryffindor table.

"Good morning Miss Evans,Miss McKinnon" she greeted.

"Morning Professor", they chimed in together.

"Miss Evans, I wonder if you could follow me into the Headmasters' office?" she said in a very definite tone of voice.

"Certainly Professor" Lily answered, scrambling on her feet, waving in good bye to Alice .

She felt the familiar pickle on the back of her back again and knew that Severus was following her all the way down the corridor. There was a painfull silence as Lily stared down the billowing green robes that lead her.

A large and rather ugly looking gargoyle stood fiercely in position infront of the entrance to what must be Dumbledore's office. McGonagall commandingly called "Ice Mice" and to Lily's great suprise the ugly statue moved aside leaving a clear path up another round of stairs.

Several voices were in an apparantly heated disccusion in Dumbledore's office. It sounded like he was entertaining at least two dozen people. When McGonagall knocked, the voices had suddenly silenced and the doors opened on their own accord.

It was a first time visit for Lily into Dumbledores' office and she marvelled at the extraordinaire of it all. There was a high ceiling and at least a hundred portraits were plastered all over the wall, some of them were snoozing, others were leaning forward or shooting down curious glances. Little silver tinklings were smoking and one of them started shivering vigorously as Lily touched it, little puffs of smoke coming from its silvery end. Dumbledore's face lightend with a mysterious smile as he continued watching the scenery.

_"Headmaster?_" McGonagall interrupted his daze.

"Ah yes Minerva. And good moring Miss Evans", he said in a warm voice, "if you would please take a seat" His long slender hand pointed invitingly to a chair infront of his desk.

He joined her in sitting down and gazed upon her with his blue eyes from above his halfmoonglasses,his long fingers interlocked in concentration. He fumbled with a little brown bag in his magnificent blue robes as he spoke.

"There will be no easy way of saying this Miss Evans and I shall not insult your intelligence by not adressing the matter directly. You have been called home,urgently. We have been requested to portkey you there. You shall have no need to pack as I have instructed the house- elves to do so."

"Headmaster, what is going on? Why this sudden urgency? I had arranged to see my parents at Christmas. "

"I'm afraid that is something between you and your parents Lily" he answered calmly, "I know it is of short day but I can only tell you that the matter is of great importance and you will come to understand why".

Having the Headmaster address her by her given name calmed Lily down as she relaxed in the comfortable chair. Nevertheless a feeling of great unease overcame her.

"When do I leave?"

"As soon as possible" Dumbledore answered.

"But Headmaster I have so many things left unfinished and I have an evening assignment today!"

"I will make sure that young Master Snape will be updated on the current situation and that you shall have no problems upon your return" Dumbledore said reassuring looking up at McGonagall as though he had two persons to convince.

Dumbledore's wizened face looked down on Lily filled with kindness as he touched her cheek and whispered "You will understand".

His long fingers were grapsing a small figuring and as he tapped it with his wand it turned a violent shade of blue. When the colour had returned to normal, he passed it on to Lily.

"This is your portkey Miss Evans, it will serve for today and it shall bring you back at any given time you wish, you only need to speak the word "Hogwarts" and it shall take you back.

Overwhelmed by thoughts, Lily simply nodded. Dumbledore put his hand on her shoulder in comfort,something wich strengthend Lily beyond anything. She stood up, ready to go and to meet whatever might be awaiting her at home.

"Headmaster,Professor" she waved in good-bey with her free hand.

_One...two...three!_

Lily felt an immense tug around her navel, as though she was being hurtled around. Colours were mixed, sound was thrashing about and her stomach clenched. She never could stand Magical Travelling, be it broomstick or Floo or any other form.

The journey ended abruptly when she landed fairly hard in her parents' living room and crashing noise followed by a piercing shriek. Lily recognised the voice of her mother, father and older sister Petunia as she straightend up.

There was a strong sent of apple pie and potporri in the air. She was ...home.

And indeed, soon enough her mother had taken her into a tight hug.

"Oh sweetheart, I am so glad you're home", she cried out.

Lily looked up in her mothers green eyes and a pang shot trough her. Red marks surrounded her eyes and her face was gloom. She had been crying. The fake smile her mother currently had on display could not hide this.

"Hello pumpkin", came the deep voice of her father.

Her fathers kind face looked like it had suddenly aged 10 years. She then turned to her sister, but as soon as she made eyecontact with her, Petunia gave Lily a disgusted look and strode off.

"Never mind, your sister pumpkin, she is in a bit of a ackward mood" her father soothed, taking the three of them into the large kitchen where her parents tried to get her engaged in some small talk and apple pie ,but the looks on both of their faces worried Lily too much.

"Mum...dad..", she turned,"Why am I here?" The cup her mother was holding started trembling onto its cup and her fathers' adamsapple bounced up and down a couple of times too much.

The doors to the kitchend closed with a thud. Lily supposed Petunia had eavesdropped enough.

"We need to talk", her father said, his face graver then Lily had ever seen. He shared a glance look with his wife, who looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"I'm afraid I haven't been ..very honest...with your or your mother or sister for that matter", he said his voice trembeling down his troat, "A few weeks ago, when your mother was doing a rather vigorously cleaning of the house, she found ...this." He explained, laying a large wand on the table.

Her father picked up the wand with an amazingly correct grip and looking very grim he said "Orchideous!"

Several gorgeous colourfull flowers sprouted from the wandtip.

There was no air in the room anymore , or so it seemed to Lily, whos longues left her gasping. She shook her head as though she were hoping that whatever just happend would disappear.

Still gasping for air, all Lily could muster was "I though, I mean,you're a muggle...both of you are non magic!"

Once more her father shook his head.

"I am, infact, a wizard.. I am a halfblood wizard Lily".

Her mothers sobs pierced the silence, her chest heaving up and down under a flow of tears. Her husband tried to grab her hand gently but she withdrew herself so quickly as if it were something contagious.

"25 years ago I graduated from Hogwarts -", her father continued, "- there after I spend 3 more years on getting my Potions Collectum. I started a job with the Ministry immediatly after in the P.A.M department, the Potions And Mixtures departement. It no longer excists at the Ministry as it was closed soon after I left there. Our department was often called upon when a Witch or Wizard came to die unexpectedly and the Ministry thought the death was of .criminal influence.

I soon made a promissing career, in 2 years I became Head of PAM and it was under my influence that our departement solved a high number of "sudden" deaths. But I grew enemies, people who's families or friends where in Azkaban by our account.

In the end, the Ministry voted for me to go into Wrelop, Wizard Relocational Program. It took untill I had done my last testify before the whole process was speeded up. --"

"Why?", Lily interrupted her father.

"Because of the nature of the crime. It was both brutal and very sudden, a family murder. I met your mother during all this, thanks to the relocation program she has never known me other then being a Sales representative"

Lily looked upto her mother, who had silent tears dripping onto her Kashmir sweater.

"How come nobody ever found you? Your so called enemies? It's not impossible to retrace anyone by magic" Lily demanded.

"Just as it is not hard to disappear completely via magic Lily. There were many spells and Charms envoked on my person",her father explained, " A Fidelius charm to begin with and several Intracable Charms. Even the use of my wand is limited. And ofcourse major Defensive Spells are surrounding our house. And last but not least, I had my name changed", he ended.

"Now what?", Lily said, " Won't the rescent use of your wand be traced, somebody may already know your current whereabouts."

"I have already visited The Ministry about this and measurements are being taken as we speak" her father tried to smile, receiving none in return.

The little henhouse clock in the kitchen ticked softly counting every silence filled second.

"There's something else you should kn----", her father started but stopped when Lily's mother ran out of the room.

Lily made to follow her mother when her father grabbed her by the wrist: "Lily please, I need to explain----"

"I think I've heard enough from you. I'm going to see to Mum", Lily said angrily, wringing herself from her fathers grasp.

Taking the familiar path upstairs, Lily knocked politely but didn't bother waiting for an answer as she entered her parents bedroom. Her mother was sitting in her favorite highbacked chair, infront of the giant bedroom windows, peering between halfclosed curtains. Silent streams were flowing down her kind face.

"Oh Lilyth", she said with the air of someone commenting on yesterdays weather.

For the first time that day Lily's courage gave way as she saw her mother being such a helpless creature. Her eyes were watereing salty painfull tears as she grabbed her mother in the most intimate hug they had ever shared.

"I'm so sorry mum", she said honestly, not knowing what for but simply in acknowledgement that her mother was the real victim of this whole mess. Her mother had lived in what was a lie her whole life, deceaded by the man she loved most.

"How could he do this to his own flesh and blood, I don't know how he can stare you and your sister in the face anymore" her mother sniffed.

"Petunia? What's wrong with her?"

Looking petrified from head to foot her mother broke into renewed sobs, but still tried to look her daughter in the face defiantely.

"Your father,he.. when he had to go into hiding, there were things that needed to be done to protect him. All kinds of Charms and P-p-p-potions -",she plucked up her couradge and took a deep breath,"-and those magical doctors you have -"

"Healers", Lily corrected her mother.

"--those healers told him that because of the force,combinding everything,would squash any magic out of the firsborn child" she finished with a mixture of digust and helplessness in her voice.

The full impact of those words hit Lily hard in the face leaving her gasping for breath. She simply didnt know what say on this. Tears were now running down her face too, silently dripping on the robes she was still wearing.

Her mother found it a perfect diversion and said : "Why don't you go freshen up a bit sweetheart it must be terribly warm in your outfit"

Lily merely nodded,kissed her on the cheeck and made a quick pace to the bathroom. When the door had falling in its place with a wellknown "click" she broke down completely.

Crumpling down against the bath, thoughts were raging in her mind, repeating all things wich have been said that dreadfull day as if her mind wanted to make sure she'd remember. How could she forget? Her heart felt as if it was hurting more with every beat.

The water streaming down from the tabs disguisd her cries. When she let her body sink into the roseperfumed hot water her muscles were the only thing relaxing but the tension in her heart and mind only became more entangled.

Awareness grew that she was yet to face another unpleasant task. She had to face her sister. A feeling she shunted aside quickly with a deep sink into the hot water. A nasty little voice in her mind nagged "At least it clears things up for me,at least some things make sence now" No longer a mudblood but a Wizards daughter A halfblood. She spent minutes on that thought, familiarising herself with the fact that she was no longer "a mudblood". Grasping that thought she stepped out of the water and wrapped herself in a darkgreen bathrobe.

The first sincere smile played on her lips when he saw witnessed herself in the large bathroommirror and thought about what Severus would have to say about her chosen colour of robe, when she suddenly heared a small tapping sound on the window. She let the brown barnowl wich had been ticking impatiently onto the window in, only one scroll of parchement was tied to his paw.

Lily opend the letter trembling, as she couldn't stand for more bad news today, her body reacted to the spidery handwriting that was plastered across the parchement

_"Severus"_, she thought.

_Lily,_

_Your charming Head of House just told me that were rushed home. . _

_Thinking of you. _

_- SS-_

There was a clicking noise when the owl who had made the delivery was clicking his beak open and shut, apparantly expecting a reward for delivery.

Lily looked around but she chould not think of single thing only apologised. "I'm awefully sorry but I havent got anything".

The owl ruffled his feathers digusted and flew off, leaving her on her own to get an answer back to Severus. But first things first. Lily had to talk to Petunia. She didn't want to or even felt like it but she had to. A letter to Severus was much more enjoyable but she couldn't ignore her sister like this.

Putting on a nice pair of jeansand a simple black shirt, Lily walked towards her sisters bedroom.

She politely knocked but knowing how Petunia hated invastion of her privacy she didn't open the door before an "enter" came from within.

Petunia was sitting on her large bed, reading "Gardens and Homes".

She didn't greet Lily as she entered, or even admitted she was there. Lily felt like having to face a Hippogriff and waited for Petunia to make the first move. She didnt have to wait very long. Petunia quickly snapped "What do you want from me?"

"To talk Petunia, we need to talk about what has happend", sitting down nexto her on the bed.

"I think you have been well enough informed by your mother and father have you not?"

"OUR mother and father Petunia, but I want to talk to you"

"I don't feel like talking to you. I know all I need to know right now. It seems that everything has been settled weather any of us agree or not.

"Petunia please, we must try, we have to...make it through this all. If we don't we'll end up being some sort of soap-opera sisters who don't talk to eachother untill someone dies."

_Home and Gardens_ was trown on the floor and Petunia was now a mere inch away from Lily, her boney face was light with a fury Lily had never seen before.

"As far as I'm concerned, you and I are no sisters. You are a freak, your whole kind are unnatural freaks who care only about themselves. Mother and I are victims of your kind and I don't want anything to do with you ! Or any of you, get out of my room and do us all a favor and get back to that madhouse you call a "school" preferably today!

Lily could only stare. S_he didn't mean this. She could never. She wouldn't._

"GET OUT!" Petun

ia now postively shouted.

Lily ran out.


	5. Pawnmovements

It was the last visit to Hogsmeade before Christmas and while many of Severus' fellow students were fussing over presents for family and friends, he was, once again, prowling in the darker allies of Hogsmeade.

He pulled his black wintercloak around him in an attempt to disapear completely in the shadows of the dingy streets. Out of nowhere a Jarvey crossed the street in a mad rushand Severus could only just avoid the weasel. It turned its ugly head to Severus and shouted "Oy! Watch where you are going you great useless prat!" before scurrying on.

This particular part of town had always fascinated him. The diversity of shops and their even wider selection on products far surpassed the mediocre town center of Hogsmeade. . The latter now far behind, his big boots ploughed their way through the continously growing level of snow. At the very last between The Atlantean Potions Supply Store and Prune's Fashion was the bookstore he had come to visit.

The shop was small at first sight but the books were everywhere, clearly magic involved to use every inch of space. Rows and rows of books. All classified in fields such as "charms" or "Hexes" or "Herbology". He noticed that the more back down the shop you orientated yourself the less "generally" accepted classifications of books could be found. he was now in a row called "Inexcusable Hexes". Here and there a book shuddered or small gasps greeted him when close enough to the book

"Severus! This is the second time you grace me with a visit in such a short time, do tell me to what I owe this pleasure" The delighted voice of Selena Black spoke from behind him.

"Madame Black", he answered politely,"what else but your large assortment on fine books and your charming presence?"

"Such a gentlemen you are Severus. Tell me, is that disgracefull son of mine still associating with the common bloodtraitors and halfbreeds he usually does?"

"I am sure he is, though I try to distance myself as far away as possible from your loving _son_" Severus answered,

"Her grey eyes slightly narrowed but she smiled nevertheless. I don't know where we went wrong with him I must admit. Though I consider myself lucky my youngest offspring is at least upholding the family honour."

"Regulus is a fine young man" said Severus sympathetic, grabbing a book on Asian Jinxes.

"Is there anything I can help you with Severus or will you be pursuing on your own course?"

"Perhaps you can. I am looking for a material on, shall I say groups throughout Wizarding History. Not the common ones such as the Ministry mind you"

The attractive woman looked down on him with malice in her grey eyes and beckoned him with a long finger. She took out her wand and said "Aparecium!".

Out of nowehere a large cabinet appeared, filled with dark coloured books, some of wich even had an extra lock upfront. Others having no visible means of opening the book to begin with.

"I'm sure you'll find this one very usefull in your….quest" she said handing over an extremely large black book with silver lignings. The cover read _" An overview on Social Groupings or Gatherings throughout the History of Noble Wizarding". _

"I think this will do perfect, thank you" Severus finally answered pocketing the book and making his way towards the counter.

" If there is anything more you need just owl me and I'll be glad to help you out" said Mrs Black after Severus had paid for book.

He walked out after bidding her farewell and promising he'd come for another visit soon. He still had 4 more hours left and decided to sit down for a bit of reading in a quiet café called "Fork of Eltanis".

There never were many people in their owing to the bartenders reputation of being a hothead and several people (unsatisfied customers no doubt) had claimed "poisoned food". Granted, the place was in dire need of a good Cleaning charm and there was the occasional dueling that took place but apart from that the dark leather chairs were comfortable and the place was perfect if you needed to be left alone.

Severus seated himself in a large highbacked leather chair and opened his latest purchase. He glanced over the book's index to see if he could find anything related to the puzzle his mother had left behind for him to figure out.

Lily had slept suprisingly well that night, after crying herself to sleep that is. Nevertheless the few hours of sleep she had lead her to wake up with a renewed vigor and her mind was made up.

The only priority she had was to ensure her mother was safe and she wasnt going to leave for Hogwarts if she wasnt convinced.

Before she had fallen asleep a lot of memories had rushed by, a lot of things had fallen in their rightfull place. The immense happiness from her father mingled with surprise from her mother when she received her Hogwarts letter was one. She had also cursed her own inattentiveness that she hadnt even asked herself how her parents managed to send the owl on their own a few weeks ago.

Her mind then turned to Severus, whos owl she still needed to answer. She needed him now more then ever, she longed to be with him. She has so much she wanted to share with him.. and so much she couldnt share. He himself was a mystery in her life to boot. Sometimes it seemed their minds were connected and other times it seemed like she couldnt grip what he was thinking at all.

She ventured downstairs to find the TV displaying her mothers favorite soap opera "Are you being served Sir?" to no one in particular. Raised voices came from behind closed kitchen doors but she knocked nevertheless knowing what she would find.

Her father was assuming his usual "Seriously endangered" position. His arms wide nexto his body, ready to take of from whatever trouble he had gotten himself into, his nostrils wide and flaring and his eyes unusually cold. Yet he managed a weak smile as she entered.

Her mother was clearly very angry aswell, her cheeks was rosy and her lips thinned in anger.

"Morning Lily darling" she said, sounding rather tired.

There was an eerie silence and the little kitchen clock interrupted it by chiming cheerfully.

Lily didnt know how to voice her thoughts, she just sat down and looked questioningly at her father.

"We need to talk" was all she could come up with. Her mother immediately sat down while her father retreated from his "seriously endangered" position. She only now noticed how he seemed to have aged 10 years overnight.

"Ive been thinking. And I wanted to ask you about what you mentioned yesterday. About our safety", said Lily.

"It is being taken care of Lilyth", her father answered," I have already been in touch with our Ministry about it. They have already been very assisting in renewing our old wards and putting up a few new ones."

"Thats it?" Lily asked.

"No. Weve still got our Secret Keeper who hasnt let us down as I expected"

"Who is it? Your secretkeeper?"

"It's someone I trusted my life to and I would do it again if I needed to. Albus Dumbledore"

Lily felt like the air was sucked out of her life and took a few heavy breaths in order to process

the latest bit of painfull information.

"You mean to say that even the Headmaster of my own school knows more about

my own life then I do?" she eventually said.

"He was Head Warlock at the time my case was presented infront of a Restricted Wizengamot" her father said.

"Who else knows?" Lily demanded abandoning all pretenses of niceness.

"Only one person, an enthousiastic chap, from the Department of Magical Catastrophes,Cornelius Fudge. He himself is bound by a Wand Oath so he can not give away any informaion aswell"

Lily was about to ask her father if he had neglected to pass out any other information when they were interrupted by a loud single knock on the door.

_Perhaps McGonagall had been the neighbours cat all these years keeping an eye on them. Or little Professor Flitwick posing as a garden gnome..._

She couldnt help but smile at that last thought.

But her smile was cut off by Petunia barging in, her grey eyes scanning the room.

"I just wanted to let you know, mother, that I shall be joining in with Vernon on dinner in _Le Chateau_ tomorrow evening" she said, pretending Lily and her father werent in the room.

"Thats lovely dear",her mother answered

She turned her heels and Lily looked up at her mother lost for words.

"Her boyfriend",said her mother, seeing Lily's questioning gaze.

One hour, 2 butterbeers and a little riot further Severus had read a chapter on Egyptian Wizardry and wondered how muggles could actually believe that no Wizardry was involved in building the Great Pyramids. Still it wasn't what he was looking for. so he flipped the book to the next chapter _"_**Dark Times for Noble Wizards**_"_ and started to read.

_Altough many a witch or wizard would tell you that the hereafter mentioned group were a legend many other beg to differ and claim The Walpurgia Cnihts (or commonly known as The Knights of the Walpurgis) are yet until this very day alive. _

_Allegedly, the history of the Walperian Knights started around the first "Christian Millenium (for muggles), being around the year 1000. _

_As it is common knowledge (thanks to A History of Magic by M. Bagshot) , during those days muggles frequently hunted down, attempted burning or killed Wizards and Witches. _

_Following these course of events, drastic actions were taken to prevent any more brutal slaughtering of wizardkind by muggles, who seemed to grow more brutal as time passed._

_While muggles didn't only take a few steps back mentally, they quickly forgot ingenious inventions made by their forefathers, the Romans and their lifestile delapitated, Wizardkind strived forward. _

_The greatest, and for muggles one of the most well known, happenings of that time was the invention of the Hebridius Boiles Curse . (Inventer unknown)_

_Although Wizardkind not only prevented but also effectivily treated this Curse, Muggles did not. It ended up destroying complete muggle villages (see also the works of H.G Quircke on "Muggles and Wizardkind, a constant war) _

_Nowadays Muggles refer to the Hebridius Boils Curse as "The Plague". _

_Not only did wizardkind use offensive measurements, aswell as defensive measurents . From several sources (see appendex) the Walpergian Knights were said to be a "group of solely Pureblood Wizards whos duties were to protect and uphold the honour of Wizardkind". _

_Through the ages, the Knights continued to grow, though after the Middle Ages, Wizard-procescution gradually dropped and so did the level of vigilance by the general Wizarding World. _

_The rumour goes that several of the original Knights made a vowel to keep up their duties, eventually via their offspring. _

Severus took to reread the last line multiple times before it hit him. _This was it. _

Unless he was very much mistaken this is what he was looking for. Unfortunately this was the only bit on the Knights that was in the book and was out of time for today, he had to be back in Hogsmeade in ten minutes. He would have to take up Mrs.Black's proposal on sending her an owl for more books.

He followed the streets back into the Hogsmeade town and saw a small crowd of students eagerly compareing their freshly bought gifts. The allround plastic Christmas cheerfullness of it all made Severus sneer. What was it about a fatty in a buggered sleigh carried by several raindeers anyway. Then he sneered some more at the fact that students were compareing the size of gifts, because that obviously was a measurement on how much you liked someone.

"_Petunia has….a boyfriend? A real boyfriend?"_, Lily thought, "_Things can't get any more odd" _

"Excuse me", Lily breathed, "I need some ...fresh air.."

She didnt bother waiting for an answer and went straight into the very welcomed fresh air of their garden.

The shady spot underneath the majestic oaktree had always been her favorite place to relax or be by herself.

When she was younger, the neighbourhood kids chose her as a favorite target for bullying. Either it was her red hair that doomed her or it was because she was "weird". Afterall it wasnt normal she kept seeing "things". Other kids didnt see "furry flying animals" . Lily remembered how Petunia said she could in the beginning, but in the end she had been pretending.

A rustling sound came from behind her as she squatted down on her favorite spot. It was her dad. All imaginary defenses aborded, tears were now streaming on her cheeks.

Her father took the spot nexto hers. He saw her tears and automatically put a strong arm around her shoulders.

"You knew...you always knew",she sobbed," all those times that I was being bullied, you knew why and you never stopped them. You never did anything. You knew I was feeling like a freak and you still didnt do anything"

"Lily I couldnt..." her father started, looking shocked for only a second as Lily started beating on his chest with her small fists. He did nothing to stop it.

"You knew it!", she shouted,"You knew there was nothing wrong with me and you never did anything!"

Her father didnt stop her from hitting him. He just looked at his daughter with a look so full of remorse and love but she did not see it.

"Lily thats enough",he finally said angry, grabbing her arms,"Youve had enough time to be angry with me, now its time you heard me out!" For the first time he sounded really angry.

"You have no idea how many nights I have been laying awake, just about to wake up your mother up and tell her everything. You dont know disgusted I am everytime I glance into the mirror.", her father said "And you most certainly have no idea what its like to live with the choice of getting a clear consience or endagering the lives of those that mean everything to you"

Lily looked upto him, she had never heared him sound as angry as he was now nor had she seen a look so serious.

"You think I was being selfish? It was never a matter of selfishness. I would have gladly told your mother everything. It would have only had a high price. Do you know how to balance a good will against better judgement Lilyth?"

Lily couldnt honestly answer this question, certainly none of the magnitude her father just presented. She shook her head.

"My darling Lily, I would have given everything to comfort you when you were in need. I just couldnt. It was such a pain to watch you struggle.

Footsteps approached, her father said "I think your mother wants to have a word with you" and took off.

Lilys mother automatically took the vacant spot. She didnt speak. Instead she rested her head against Lilys and both of them just sat there.

"I dont think I could ever leave this place", her mother said, "my heart is here…."

Lily knew her mother well enough to understand it was her way of saying she was going to stay and try to talk things out with her father, eventually. They would all need a lot of time to digest what had happened, no doubt it would take months or years but her mother was a strong woman. Lily only hoped she would have the same strenght.

"You really should get back to school as soon as possible" her mother said suddenly, catching her by suprise.

"I know you, youre working it all out inside your head and its no good. It wont help if you stay around and miss too much of school. People will only start to ask questions anyway, if youre missing for too long."

She was right ofcourse, no doubt the gossip would have already spread like Blue Bell Flames. Everything that needed to remain strictly secret was usually big news in Hogwarts.

"And its not like well have to wait a long time before we see you again is it?" her mother smiled.

"I just want you to do well Lily", she continued ," From what I can hear, its a terribly complicated world youll come to live in and I just want you to be somewhat prepared, if possible".

"I know you do. Im just worried mum, thats all" Lily answered.

"You can worry at school and finish your term at the same time " her smiled mother mischievously and Lily knew instantly that she wasnt going to win this one, she settled for a returning smile and nodded.

They remained seated for a bit longer. Both enjoying the sounds a garden usually makes. Soft rustling leaves, birds twittering and the occasional wind tossing around a few leaves. Not much words were exchanged but at the end Lily only said.

"Ill leave tonight".

Hogwarts was in full Christmasgear. The usual twelve threes were as magnificent as ever, with their live decoration (ice covered pixies and singing angels). Professor Flitwick was charming the last silver star up the treetop while Professor McGonagall was putting up thistle. Severus had never cared much about Christmas much for the simple reason that Christmas didnt care much about Severus.

The Dungeons were cold, fireplaces were never lit but several well placed Heating Charms always kept them comfortably warm. In the privacy of Severus room, a superior looking Eagleowl was waiting on his pillow. Grudgingly disappointed not to recognise Lilys writing he opened the silver envelope.

_Dear Severus,_

_Trusting that this owl finds you well I would hereby like to invite you to spend the Christmasholidays (or part of it) in good company at Malfoy Mansion. _

_Transportation will be arranged at Platform 9 ¾._

_RSVP,_

_Curtiously,_

_Lucius Malfoy. _

Severus had only known Lucius Malfoy for a year. In his first year Lucius had been Head Boy and the epiphany of everything Slytherin House was famous for. Proud, ambitions, charming and talented. In the few years that Lucius had been out of Hogwarts, he had built up quite a reputation for himself. Ofcourse there was gossip, there always was gossip but this was an invite many people would covet. And ofcourse RSVP was nothing other then " I trust you will accept", such was it when you had just been invited to Malfoy Manor.

So Severus accepted. Both curiously and wearily he wrote a small acceptance letter.

_Lucius,_

_Ofcourse I accept your generous invitation. I had made no plans for the upcoming holidays and look forward to some pleasurable company. _

_Greatfully yours,_

_Severus Snape._

On his way from the Owlery Severussaw a very familiar red head making her way through the halls. Her eyes suddenly met his and his stomach flinched from both pleasure and annoyance.

Severus scanned the Hall to see if there was someone close enough to hear them.

"I see youre back. I thought you were expected to stay away longer seen as you didnt answer my owl " he said sounding much colder then he intended too.

"Im sorry Severus, but I had no owl available to respond. Yours cleared off as soon as it made the delivery" she apologised.

He really wanted nothing more then to take her into his arms. He looked at her, her hair was out of the elegant braid she normally wore and her gorgeous eyes were rather red. Yet she was still the most beautifull girl around. Even with her robes missing a button and her shoes having a smudge of mud.

"Im afraid McGonagall is expecting me in the Commonroom in about 5 minutes " Lily said.

"Dont let me keep you from meeting your charming Head of House" Severus sneered, again sounding much too cold.

"Check your right pocket" she whispered as she left, pocketing her wand.

His long fingers delved into his pocket as he stalked towards the dungeons.

" _The usual. 9 pm. L.E."_

After carefull administration of the Disillusionment Charm it didnt take Severus very long to find his way upto the seventh floor, easily opening the door to the Room. She was already there. The room only contained a few candles and a leather couch. Big windows and darkgreen curtains surrounded them.

Her smile was so sincere as she saw him come in that he forgave her instantly for not writing him back, though he reminded a little bit grudgy. He sat down nexto her and she immediately leaned on his shoulder.

"Would I make it upto you if I told you I missed you", she said, "I know that look Severus and youre angry because I didnt write you back"

"I was just…" he started

"Worried?"

"Yes that too."

"What else?", she said her emerald eyes looking up at him expantly.

"Curious" he lied.

"Oh really Severus Snape?" Lily said, her eyebrow arching in a perfect imitation of the boy whos dark eyes were locking onto hers.

She saw the corner of his mouth twitch just for a second before his face became impassiveonce more.

"You know youre Inner Slytherin is really starting to work its way up" he said.

"I have an Inner Slytherin?"

"Oh yes, everyone has", he answered stroking her long hair as she had put her head in his lap, "Every witch or wizard has one, some of us are bettter at squatting the Snake then others"

"Even James Potter and Sirius Black?"

"Especially those two"he hissed. "They always seem to slither their way out of any delicate situation."

"Even me?"

"Yes, even you."

"What does my Inner Slytherin do for me then?"

"Keeps you out of trouble for one"

"Oh really?" she said, lifting herself on his lap completely now. She started rubbing his thin shoulders, he smelled like a mixture of musk and wormwood. His long fingers were grabbing her waist, his hands claiming her body firmly.

"All kinds of trouble?" she asked, her hands sliding down his robes, following his thin frame untill she reached underneath his stomach. She pushed herself closer to him, grabbing his slender hands and placing them gently on her breasts.

"Lily are you sure about this?" Severus asked, his voice sounding a lot different without the usual scowl or sneer.

"Severus I dont need to be sure right now… I need you"

"I cant promiss your inner Snake will get you out of this sort of Trouble Lily" he said, the capital T clearly present in his voice, like only Severus could.

"We wont find out untill we try wont we?" she whispered in his ear.

With a small pop an enormous four poster appeared out of nowhere.

Lily looked up at the bed and then back in those black tunnels where she couldget lostin for hours.

"I swear it wasnt me" Severus breathed in her ear.

"I know." She smiled mischievously.

Severus scooped her in his arms in one fluent movement and carried her of to the four poster.

As he sat down on the bed, Lily kneeled on top of him, her robes sliding up to uncover her long slim legs. Long fingers stroked the bare legs lovingly. She bowed down and their lips opened for tongues to explore eachother.

She opened the clasp on her robe and lifted them easily above her head.

She was the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen. Her skin was milkywhite with a few freckles on wellchosen places, her perky breasts were a handfull gently enclosed by a lightgreen bra. Her red hair was sliding down the back of her back, falling nicely into place. She was too beautifull not to admire so he gently rolled her back on the bed as to better look at his goddess.

For the years and years to come Severus Snape would never be able to forget those esmerald green eyes staring up at him. He knew she loved him. He could see it in those eyes, that always spoke the truth.

He looked at her, lost for words as she breathed softly and he watched her breasts gently heave up and down.

His hands were no longer cold, her skin warmed his hands up as he touched her arms, her neck, her sweet face. With a skillfull touch he undid her soft silky bra. Her nipples inviting as he brought his mouth on it. Lovingly kissing and biting them he heared Lilys breathing going faster. Her nails were short but they were carving into his back nevertheless.

Severus now undid his robes to. She looked at him and he saw in her eyes, a rare apraisal. He wasnt muscular but he wasnt skinny. His chest only held a few hairs, still not tasteless. He had a few scars on his chest from several magical accidents or Potions gone wrong. His hair was lanky and greasy as usual but she didnt mind. Her fingers gladly touched it. He wasnt tanned but she kissed his neck nevertheless.

His grey knickers made an odd contrast with the softgreen tiny knickers Lily was wearing but it seemed like she hadnt even noticed. Or cared.

Her hands had found the way to his knickers and her rhythmic rubbing only made his masculinity grow larger. His heart was beating in a crazed tempo that would soon have it burst from within its chest. He could feel himself loosing control over his lower body bit by bit.

With a smooth wave of his wand, they were both completely undressed and her pubic hair was just as dark red as her locks. How could any man resist this….

He kissed her neck, his tongue gliding from her earlobe, teasing her nipples and passed her bellybutton.

Unfamliar with what was coming, Lily hesitantly opened her slender legs. Severuss long hair blocked her view from what he would do next. Her lower body shaking slightly in surprise as his tongue found her lips. His large nose smelled musk and something resembling lavender soap. Even her smell was perfect.

He could hear her gasp for breath as his finger spread her soft lips and his tongue had found his exact way to her clitoris. He gently licked it and heared little sounds come from deep within her throat, they were calling him to go on.

Faster and steadlier he licked, kissing her thies gently and sucking her little love button with a passion he didnt even know he had.

Her lower body was know shaking uncontrollably her legs were strong and her voice wasraw as she screamed his name when her orgasm took hold of her body.

Her body in pleasure by him only aroused him more and he could no longer control his own hardness anymore.

"Lily …" his voice sounding nowhere close to his usual scowl.

She only nodded.

He brought himself in between the soft lips he had just pleased. She put her long legs around his back and he lost all self control. With a soft move he thrust himself into the woman lying beneath him. She was warm, all over and in. Her legs were locking him into an unusual embrace and he found himself incapable of thinking anymore. Her nails were clawing into his buttocks as she pushed herself forward, receiving him with every stroke. Her voice became raw again as she started gasping for air and calling out his name. They were one in body and when he also gasped out for breath calling her name, their souls were linked for a moment. She was his. Not Potters. But _his_.

_"I love you Severus"._


	6. Trapped

A few days later Severus found himself leaving Hogwarts for the holidays for the very first time in his life. He was sharing a compartment with only Zacharias Zabini. All his other classmates had preferred to stay at Hogwarts.

Lilys last words still raged through his mind. She had told him she loved him. And even when he didnt answer back she hadnt become dramatically upset.

It wasnt that Severus didnt know what love was. He just hadnt loved anyone back before. He didnt know if he could. Yet Lily…

As usual Zabini, in his great sense of timing called Severus from his thoughts.

" I might be dropping by this Christmas, my parents owled me they had received an invitationto Malfoy Manner aswell"

"How utterly delightful and here I thought Id finally had a holiday away from you all" Severus said smirking.

"Oh Im sure you are , what business do you have there anyway?"

"I dont know actually, I only received an invitation from Lucius and you know its not wise to decline those"

"So Ive heared. Well I am sure youll have an excellent holiday all comforts well seen to. If I remember correctly, Lucius is in debt with you anyway"

Wich was true. In Lucius last year there was an embarrassing "accident" envolving a muggleborn Gryffindor first year and a hex gone badly wrong. If Severus hadnt told quite a few 'untruths" it would have been an early end to the Headboys young career.

So Zabini did have a point, Lucius Malfoy was in debt with Severus.

"So, do you love her?" Zabini suddenly asked.

Severus failed to reply, for the second time in his life he was lost for words.

"Oh come on, Severus youve gained actual weight, you sneak back into our room in the middle of the night and you actually managed a smile at Rosiers joke yesterday", Zabini said sounding very much so like a Wizengamot member.

"I hardly think its any business of yours what I get upto at Hogwarts is it?"

"Potter will kill you when he finds out or at least make your life completely miserable" Zabini said in a casual sort of voice.

"How do you – "

"Oh Severus, Rosier might be too thick, Avery couldnt be bothered, Parkinson is trying his best to get into the pants of anything pureblooded too notice. But Im rather, lets say – "

"Spying on people" Severus said, eyebrow arched.

"I take personal interests", Zabini corrected him, smiling.

Severus barely managed to hold down a sneer, his lip curling in displeasure and a few other mixed emotions.

"Youve yet to answer my question though" Zabini said.

"You seem so well informed, I would think you should know by now"

Zabini only smiled again, which greately annoyed Severus.

"Dont give me that look Severus. I will not telltale on your little redheaded secret. We al lget upto things that shouldnt be seen in the daylight."

Severus wasn t the sort of person to utter a word of gratitude but the nod he gave Zabini was worth a 1000 words. They spent the remaining hours of the journey with idle chitchat as the green landscape outside slowly made way for suburban and eventually capitol territory.

When Severus stepped out into platform 9 ¾ a House-Elf appeared out of nowhere, nearly stumbling over its own large feet.

"You is surely Mister Severus Snape" it squeeked, his batlike ears flapping with every word.

"I am and you are.. ?"

"Dobby, Sir, Dobby the House-Elf. Master has sent Dobby to meet his honourable guest Sir. And see to it that the young master is tend to his every need"

"I only need to get my luggage – "

"Dobby will see to that Sir"

"Fine. How will we travel?"

"I has this Sir", the Elf held up a small silver ornament snake., "It will take you to Master Malfoy as soon as you touches it Sir"

_Oh great, another portkey, a magically nauseating way of travelling. _

Severus took the silver snake from the Elf and could feel its effect almost immediately. A quick tug from behind the navel and off he was in a whirlpool of colours and sound only to land ungraciously on his backside.

A sea of luxury and expensive taste surrounded him. From the marble walls to the pure silver ornaments and accessories, a marvellous display of the nouveau riches.

Footsteps announced the arrival of a new person, by the sound of it male.

"Severus I am delighted to see youve arrived safely " came the silk drawl of Lucius Malfoy, who extended his slender hand in welcome. His cold grey eyes were glintering maliciously and his pale pointy face carried a smirk on its lips.

"I do apologize for not meeting you in person at Platform 9 ¾ but I had some…ah…last minute business to attend to" Lucius said.

"Thats quite alright, your house-elf was more then…effective"

"Ah yes, dreadfully usefull things arent they?" .

Severus could clearly see what made this former Hogwarts Head Boy such a success after only having graduated for 4 years. Lucius Malfoy walked with an air of selfconfidence, talked smoothly and oozed pride.

"My fiancee should be arriving home any moment now, she is a delectable woman but Im afraid she shares a surname you will not appreciate. She is one of the more noble Blacks" Lucius said eyeing Severus for reactions.

Instinct kept Severus face impassive and he merely said "Im sure she is the pearl of her family"

"She is indeed Severus".

And, with a great sense of timing, a tiny pop announced the arrival of the mysterious fiancee.

She was, as Severus had expected, a gorgeous woman. Thick, long blond hair ramined in place with every step she took, sparking blue eyes and a slim figure. Dressed, how else, in expensive robes.

"You must be Severus", she said, extending her hand, "Narcissa Black".

Severus made a small bow and placed a small kiss on her slender hand" He saw the approval on Lucius' face.

Dinner was a pleasant event at Malfoy Manor. Fattening food at Hogwarts was replaced by a more culinary meal.

After a small tour of the fortress that was Malfoy Manor, Severus retreated in a luxurious bedroom. The fourposter was twice as large as those in Hogwarts and if possible, 5 times as comfortable.

It took only a few seconds after Severus had put his head on the pillow before darkness overpowered him and sleep took hold of his body.

- - -

Lily was sharing compartment with Alice, as per usual. Alice was in extatic delight. Her boyfriend of long, Frank Longbottom had proposed to her and she was going to spend the next two weeks meeting the other half of the family she hadnt met yet.

"Franks mother Levina is such a wonderful woman. She is very strict but shes accepted me from the beginning and her brother Algee – "

She cought Lily paying no attention and changed course.

"Lily whats wrong?"

"Thats lovely Alice dear"

"Earth calling Lily, whatever is wrong with you?"

"Oh sorry Alice, Ive just been a bit preoccupied thats all"

"OWL's upcomming he? Well dont you worry,your grades are a good indication of what youll be facing so you dont have to worry about anything. "

If only she really didn have anything worry about. The fact still remained that Lily felt like she wasnt going home at all. She would be going to a home, but it no longer felt like hers. It looked and smelled like hers but it wasnt at all.

Alice kept most of the talk up, her plump face lighting up every time she mentioned Frank.

When the train had finally arrived at Kings Cross after what felt like weeks Lily got out. She had already changed into her muggleoutfit, much to the pleasure of Alice, who marvelled at the tight fitting jeans Lily wore.

Lilys mother had come to pick her up and on the way home they had gotten through the necessairy chit-chat.

Lily had put her trunk upstairs and on her way down she ran into Petunia.

"Just so you know, Vernon is coming to dinner this weekend. He knows nothing of your freak school or your abnormality and I would like to keep it that way".

It was the last drop for Lily, whos inner snake reared its ugly head and struck.

"Petunia Im sure that by now he knows Im related to you. Nobody can can miss out that abnormality"

Petunias boney face contorted with anger. Lily didnt even see it coming but Petunias skinny hand came down hard on Lilys cheek. It only angered Lily more and she grabbed for her wand, holding it out menacingly in front of Petunias horrified face.

"I know you cant do anything with that… thing. If you do theyll kick you out of that loony bin and …and …theyll find your father"

"That is a new low, even for you Petunia", Lily sneered.

Suddenly, with some fright, Lily realized how much she had just sounded quite like Severus. She turned her back at Petunia and went downstairs.

Her mother was fixing up Lilys favorite meal, Spaghetti. The kitchen smelled of tomatoes and basil.

"Your father should be home any moment now" her mother said, "he had to take the bus to arrange a few things at the ' Ministry' "

Apart from the fact that Lily didnt know her father to have any business with the British gouvernment she knew that by that exact emphasism, her mother had ment Ministry of Magic.

Other then that, what kind of bus would drive up to the Ministry of Magic?

The answer came with a roaring bang, a haze of purple speeding by and the meowing of a couple of cats (no doubt surviving a close encounter with the purple monster)

Her mother hadnt even noticed a thing while Lily believe the bang would have been heard all through Surrey. It explained why she was a bit startled when the front door slammed shut.

"Hello pumpkin"

"Hello dad"

There was something in her fathers face wich concerned Lily but she was unable to put her finger on it.

Dinner was probably a good reflection of how it was going to be in the future. Petunia igored Lily her mother was trying to engage everyone into talking to each other while her father was brooding.

Severus was on Lilys mind for most of the evening and it was the only thing that kept her going. She wasnt kidding herself in thinking she could ever have a normal relationship with Severus. (As long as they were in school anyway) There would be no holding hands or sitting under a tree for them. But she loved him nevertheless and there was always 'later'. Even though he would never say the same to her, she knew he did and that was all she needed. She never took the easiest way for anything. Had she wanted it easy, she would have chosen Potter.

"Cant get anything simpler then him" her inner snake said.

Before she fell asleep, the last thing on her mind was yet again, Severus.

- - -

"_Get up you bitch!" _

"_No Tobias, please don't!" _

"_You useless heap of witch! Youve disgraced the whole family!" _

"_Tobias, I did it for Severus" _

"_Hes going to grow up as broken down and useless just like you if it wasnt for me!" _

"_Our son is just fine!" _

"_Shut up woman, how dare you talk back at me!" _

"_Tobias, please no!"_

Severus woke up with a jerk and sweat was all over his body, even now it was dripping on the silk sheets. His stomached clenched unpleasantly and his head was throbbing.

It was the only thing Severus could remember of his childhood. His mother and father fighting, his father using the advantage of his length and size to tower over his mother, who was a fragile

witch.

There was never any sleeping for him after he had his nightmare again, it would consume his thoughts every time. So instead he went for a long hot soak in nextdoors bathroom. It was a large marble bath with silver tabs. It was quickly filled with a gentle scent of musk. He sank in a bit lower and closed his eyes.

Minutes passsed before he noticed her entering the room. She wore nothing but a namesake flower in her hair as her long legs carried her into the bath.

"Lily" Severus said, his spirits rising as she got into the bath. What was she doing her? How did she get in? She only smiled at him.

But when he reached out to touch her, she was gone and his hand only held a few bubbles.

"For Merlins sake get a grip on yourself Severus" he chastised himself and sank a bit lower in the warm bath.

A loud crack sounded in the bathroom and Dobby the house-elf appeared out of nowhere.

"I is sorry to interrupt Sir, but Master Malfoy requests your presence at breakfast " he said

bowing low.

"I shall be there in a good ten minutes" Severus said, grabbing the towl nexto him.

Breakfast was, as everything else in Malfoy Manor, an exquisit thing. French toast, fresh juices and Italian coffee.

"Now Severus, you are free to go as you please obviously but before you make up your mind on anything I should very much like to have a little word with you" Lucius said.

"Of course Lucius, I didnt have any plans today anyway" Severus answered.

"Excellent. Im sure you've been wondering why you were invited her for the holidays am I correct?

He nodded politely.

" Severus, what I wanted to ask you, do you know anything about your family?"

This was the last thing Severus had expected from Lucius and he looked into the grey eyes of the man before him. He was sitting in his chair like a king on a throne, the silver headed cane in his lap.

"Not much Im afraid".

"I thought as much Severus. But I'm hoping to make up for that with what Im going to say to you now. If you would be so kind to hear me out and I will answer all questions you have later."

Another polite nod.

"Now you probably dont know this but my father Abraxas, was appointed as your guardian a few days after your father passed away"

"You know about my father?" Sevuerus interrupted, forgetting his earlier consent.

"Only the things Ive been told from mine. They were friends. He was friends with both your parents for quite a few years. It was a close bond of friendship and they both requested my father to be your guardian should anything happen to them. Now, after you were left in his care my father had quite a few choices to make concerning you and your future. As I well know, he had little time for his own children so he wanted to make sure you still had everything you needed. So instead of putting you in some horrible orphanage, he took the very best of the Care-Witches and placed you under the care of one. It pained him greatly that he couldnt take care of you himself but he always kept more then one eye out for you. When you were excepted at Hogwarts he saw to it that you had everything you needed and more. "

Lucius paused, to give Severus some time to digest all this new information. If Severus wouldn't already have been that gaunt he would have turned whiter then a ghost.

"But why I am telling you this, Severus, is because after my fathers unfortunate death I became your guardian. I still am un till this day obviously."

"Do you have any more information about my mother or father? "

"Not much Severus, I can tell you everything my father told me… yet if you want more… there is a way we can find out but thats something we can do later on. I know that your parents and my father were part of a group of friends that called themselves the Walpurgis Knights. A group of pureblooded witches and wizards that came into action for the rights of Purebloods. They were often thought of as group of extremists and suspected of many crimes they didnt commit. As you know Severus, more and more our heritage is being invaded by people who thought magic was something muggles in top hats did to pull a rabbit out of their sleeves. They were the kind of group that pleaded for action for Pureblood rights as so many groups do for the rights of Mud…Muggleborns. " Lucius said, his face showing nothing but disgust. A usual sneer was on his lips.

"What were they suspected off?"

"Many things, each one more ridiculous then others. It caused quite a shock that the Pureblooded community wanted to stand up for themselves. It was said that they were selfish, amongst other things. Suddenly, it became a crime to fight for what was yours all these years. When many _muggleborns_ ended up dying, ofcourse the first suspects were always those that didnt embrace them into the Magical world. "

"Do the Knights still excist?"

"Yes they do and they grow larger every year. Many purebloods want to stand up for their beliefs, for whats theirs, eventhough it labels them as "racists" and "biggots. Have you ever heared that history always seems to repeat itself Severus?"

"So they say"

"Well, many centuries ago our kind, as you undoubtably have heard in the fascinating lessons of Binns, had to go into hiding because we were prosecuted and killed for our talents. We were forced to hide out as only foul beasts do. Have you heared Severus, that nowadays the only places we can live are completely unmappable villages, unplottable houses or charmed houses that look like ruins? "

That had never really been on Severus mind, perhaps because his friends never talked about it. Yet, it did make sence. Ever since he came to Hogwarts and got sorted in Slytherin, muggleborns had been avoiding him as if he had something contageous. Well not all of them...

"I can see that you understand what Im talking about Severus. Its our fate apparently and when we try to do something about that fate, we automatically get labled.

"Not to be disrespectfull Lucius, but have you got any more information about my parents?"

"I have no good news Severus, Im afraid"

"I would still like to hear it"

"Your mother, Eileen, was a great person, my father always spoke very highly of her. When you were born she was immensely proud. She got killed. It was some action upon her own person. Up untill this day the Ministry has never been honest about who was responsible. The Ministry hides behind what they believe is acceptable and what really happened. She died only 2 years after you were born. Your father was framed for the murder"

"My father?"

"Yes, ofcourse its much easier for the Ministry to classify it as an act of abuse in marriage then to admit the fact that she was killed by a non-pureblood. "

"What happened to my father?"

"He waisted away. Grief. No matter how he and your mother used to argue, they always stuck up for eachother through thick and thin. He died in prison. Azkaban Prison. "

Severus couldnt reply, but Lucius didnt mind He kept silent for a moment as Severus struggled with the information that had just been provided. There was a tapping sound on the windows as an Eagle owl gently waited outside.

Lucius grabbed the letter as the owl waited patiently on top of a cupboard waiting for a possible response to the message it had just delivered.

"I understand this might be a lot for you to get to grips with Severus and Im going to leave it at this for now. We will talk again soon but for now I have a few urgent business matters that require my immediate attention"

"Ofcourse" Severus said.

**- - -**

When Lily woke up that following morning, she was well rested but her heart was heavy. Petunias (undoubtably equally) horrible boyfriend was coming over to dinner tomorrow evening. Not that she was afraid of anything they might throw her way but she missed Severus more then ever. Hoping he would miss her too she decided it was time the family would get an owl

"Dad"

"Yes pumpkin"

"Do we have an owl that I can use?"

"We dont pumpkin, are you in a terrible hurry to send a message?"

"Nothing life-threathening but …"

Her father smiled meaningful and got up.

"Il'l be back in an hour"

And indeed, one hour later as Lily was sitting under her favorite three the familiar bang sounded once more.

Lilys father came out carrying a large cage covered with a dark brown cloth.

"We needed one anyway you were right" he said, winking as he removed the cloth to reveal a gorgeous ashgrey owl.

"She's gorgeous!" Lily said.

"She's yours"

"I would have just been happy with a pack of owl treats to lure one out you know" Lily lied.

Her letter to Severus was short but clear.

_Severus, _

_My holidays need a better start, meet me somewhere? _

_L.E _

She rolled the little piece of parchment and whispered to the owl as she was tying it to his leg "Its for Severus Snape, I dont know the address but hes at Malfoy Mansion…will you find him?"

The owl hooted reassuringly and spread her wings for flight.

There was one last thing.

"Mother?"

"Yes darling?"

"Do we have room for one more dinner guest tomorrow?"

"I think we should be able to manage that darling, who did you have in mind?"

Lily should have known her mother would pick up the ' extra dinner guest' question immediately and she felt her face redden.

"Whats his name?" her mother asked, closing the book she was reading.

"Severus"

"From your school?"

"Yes, in the same year as me"

"In the same department - ?"

" They're called houses but no. Not from the same house as me but thats okay. For me anyway" Lily said.

"How long have you known eachother?"

"A couple of months now"

"Whats he like?"

"He's quiet, not really into sports, he reads a lot and he is very intelligent."

"Does he treat you well?"

"Yes… yes he does"

"Well then hes more than welcome here"

"Thanks mom", Lily said,kissing her mother on the cheek.

- - -

Severus decided to go for a walk. He obviously hadnt seen much of the nature on his portkeyed way down and perhaps some fresh air would help him put things in perspective.

So his mother had died by the hands of someone who the whole wizardingworld is trying to defend. And his father got set up for it. Severus thought of his only childhood memory he had and wondered for a second if his father was really innocent. Why would Lucius lie about a thing like that? And who would do something like that to his mother. He needed more answers but Lucius wasnt going to be around for a while. He needed some distraction right now before he could start to put things together.

A figure was soaring through the sky becoming more and more clear as it approached. The grey owl rested on a branch and sticked out its leg smugly. Severus read the tiny note and told the messenger "dont go anywhere" as he walked back inside for a quill.

On the back of the note he wrote:

_Lily, _

_Meet me at Florish and Blotts at 10 am tomorrow. _

_S.S_

- - -

Lucius hadnt even returned for breakfast that next morning. Narcissa was a perfect host but Severus was glad to get out. After Narcissa made him a portkey with coordinates of Malfoy Manor he took off.

Luckily, the holidays meant that most of the studentfolk was back at home with their respective parents, doing whatever they did during the Christmas holidays. The few witches and wizards doing some last minute shopping were adults.

Florish and Blotts was a mediocre bookshop, for mediocre students who read nothing but the default curriculum set out for the gentle souls by the tiresome Ministry.

He spotted his favorite redhead gazing through the display and wrapped his arms around her.

She spun around and smiled brightly up at him. He looked around quickly and kissed her lips. As her mouth opened willing to admit his tongue and his long fingers stroked her soft hair he couldnt care a sod about who could see them right now.

"I know somewhere quiet where we can go and be alone if you want to " he said.

"Id like that, I dont think well run into someone we know at this time but better safe then sorry"

He put his arm around her again, it was only a short walk to the Fork of Eltanis, they would be safe there.

"Severus, have you got anything planned for this evening?"

"Nothing yet, I am supposed to be at Malfoy Manor but up untill now Ive only seen my host for about 3 hours so I doubt Ill be missed. Why?"

"Well, I was wondering. This is completely you know… upto you. Eventhough you would do me a great pleasure by saying yes, I wouldnt be angry if you said no – "

" Lily… youre rambling" he said, putting her up against a tall tree and spreading his arms on her sides.

"Will you come to dinner to my house tonight…with me?"

His immediate answer would have been no. But even the wisest man would turn fool when she looked at him with her almond green eyes. He couldnt refuse her anything.

"Yes. Yes I will. Do your parents know Im coming".

"They do, I asked them nicely like any good daughter would"

She kissed him again, her hands were rubbing his back rhythmic and it made him purr slightly.

Their kiss grew longer, their tongues were fighting, the breaths were staggering, his hands wer grabbing her bum as she pressed herself closer to him. She nibbled his ear and put her leg around him. He growled slightly.

"Lily unless you stop right now Im going to have to do some very unspeakable things to you" he said

"Oh really?" she said, smiling mischievously at him.

He grabbed her other leg and put it around him aswell. Pressing her onto the tree he kissed her neck, smelling her usual perfume. She discovered a soft place in his neck and bit it gently. It aroused him even more and he could feel his heart pumping and his blood flowing down to other places in his body.

"Hello Lily….. Severus" an awefully familiar hoarse voice came from behind them. The heat that had been spreading through Severus body cooled down and his insides felt like a deflating balloon. He quickly put Lily down and stood infront of her. Lupin looked shabby as ever and he looked even paler then Severus, a large big scar on the leftside of his face.

"Lupin"

"Remus" Lily said with a hint of fright in her tone.

"Dont let me keep you from…whatever you were doing. I just thought Id wish the both of you a Merry Christmas" Remus Lupin said kindly.

Severus was waiting for more, this couldnt be it. It was just what his kind was waiting for. A chance to ruin everything for Severus. Yet Lupin merely smiled and walked away when Lily had bid him a Merry Christmas.

"Of all the sodding things to happen" Severus swore.

"Now what?" Lily said shivering slightly eventhough there was a small sun.

"I dont know…. I could either obliviate him or we wait and see what happens when were back in school I guess"

"Well wait…" Lily quickly said.

"Lets go before someone else unwanted pops out of nowhere".

The Fork was, as usually, almost completely void of visitors. Severus choose a spot for Lily and him in the very outer corner in a large comfortable leather couch infront of a fireplace which wasnt lit.

When Severus returned with two butterbeers he saw, to his surprise and shock, that there were silent tears running down Lilys face.

"Lily whats wrong".

"Oh Severus… first the mess at home and now here…if Remus Lupin talks to his annoying friends who knows what will happen"

"Well worry about that later, whats wrong at home?".

She started crying even harder now and Severus took her into his arms, into what he hoped was a comforting position.

"Its… my father", she sobbed uncontrollably, "he's… been luying to us all these years"

"About what Lily" Severus said, caressing her back.

"Everything. Hes been hiding things for years. Im no muggleborn Severus, Im a halfblood.." she said, tears streaming from her face now.

"What?"

"He's been hiding things from us for years. Not even my mother knew. He probably never would have told us if my mother didn't find his wand one day"

"But why ?" Severus said. He thought he couldnt have been surprised anymore but this was beyond anything he had heard lately.

Lily thought about it for a while….eventhough she would have loved nothing else then being honest with Severus… it could endanger him. There was a better time for it later…

"I dont know… wich is why it confuses me so much… after all the things that happened when I was young. The way my sister used to tease me and make me feel like a freak – "

"Hang on there, your sister did what?"

"She used to tease me a lot. Shed tell the kids in school that I was seeing things and talking to imaginary friends. Just because I saw things she didnt. Magical creatures. Kids used to tease me even more after she'd just been talking to her. She'd tell them I was short of a few bolts if you get my drift. Then when we grew up she found a few friends that were happy to join in with her. When they werent busy singing songs about "Loony Lily" they were busy ignoring me or talking behind my back. "

"Your sister sounds like a real charming person " Severus said, his lip curling in displeasure. "So even with your sister making you look like a fool, your father neither did or said anything?"

Lily shook her head.

"And those are the people I am dying to meet this evening?" Severus said, causing Lily to smile for a fleeting second.

"Well yes. But my mom is nice. And I do think its fair to warn you that my sisters boyfriend will be there too. I never met him though"

"Well if your sister is taken with him, I am sure he is a most charming person aswell"

"Im sorry Severus, if you dont want to come I understand."

"Actually, I'm looking quite forward to it right now to be honest" Severus smirked.

"Lily, darling", he said,- at wich she looked up shocked, he had never called her anything like that before, " I cant promis everything will be alright. I cant.. But I can promiss I wont stand for anyone ever hurting you again. "

She looked into his dark tunnels, her eyes were still filled with tears but she looked hopefull and even relieved.

"I love you Severus. I love you eventhough I know you wont ever tell me the same or not yet. I trust you more then I trust anyone and I will fight for every minute I can spend with you even if the whole school knows . I am not sure of much right now but I am sure about you Severus. I will never give up on you no matter what. " she said.

He didnt know what to say so he just held her in comfort and felt her relax against him.

Oh he looked forward to meeting the family _alot_ .

- - -

They took the Knightbus back to her house. Lily had done quite a few morphing charms on Severus robes . Ofcourse the jeans and shirt she made for him had to remain black, obviously.

They suited him a lot, eventhough he wouldnt admit it it did look good on him.

"Well here we go" Lily said as they entered the house. Her mother was putting the finishing touches on the turkey. Or better yet, in the turkey. It must have been very ackward for Severus to see a women draw her fist from within a headless turkey. Lily managed to opress a smile at the look on Severus face.

"Good evening Madame Evans" he said extending his hand to the one that was turkey free and shaking it politely.

"Goodevening, Severus wasn't it?"

"Indeed"

"Well do sit down, the rest of the family will be here in a bit. I hope you like turkey Severus"

"I hope I do " Severus whispered in Lilys ear and answering "Im sure I will" to her mother.

Lily saw his eyes dart to all things that were new for him. From the television to the VCR to the stereotower and her fathers record collection.

"Its an amazing warm day, I think well eat in the garden Lily, will you and Severus help me out putting everything outside?"

"Sure mum" Lily answered and she and Severus got up.

Lily could see that Severus was impressed by the garden, as so many were.

"You have a marvellous garden Madame Evans, are those Bellis perennis? Severus said.

"Oh you know your plants and flowers Severus!" Lilys mother said delighted.

"Great one, you've got my mother charmed already" Lily whispered when her mother went back in for the knives and forks.

The backdoor opened again and Petunia stepped out followed by the beefiest man Lily had ever set eyes upon. He had no neck and a small funny moustache. His eyes were scanning the garden and narrowed when he saw Lily and Severus.

Petunia looked dumbstruck and when she gained her composure she legged her way upto Lily, pulling her by her arm away from Severus. Her grip didnt losen when she talked to Lily. Instead it got only more painfull.

"You have got to be kidding me, what is that horrible boy doing in OUR garden?"

"Hes here on my invitation and mum's too"

"I won't have two of your kind here, what the hell is Vernon supposed to think about that greasyhaired freak?" Petunia snapped, her grip on Lilys arm tightening. It was starting to numb the feeling in her arm.

"Frankly Petunia, I dont care what your 'boyfriend' thinks about Severus and would you let go of my arm now youre hurting me!"

Lily walked back and held her hand out for Vernon.

"Im Lily, Petunias sister" she said waiting for him to shake her hand. He didn't. Lily saw Severus eyes narrow dangerously. Then he focussed on Petunia who shoved into place nexto Vernon.

"And you're Petunia?" he said in low voice.

" Obviously" she snapped.

" I'm Severus, should you have the courtesy to wonder about my name" he said.

"Don't you smartmouth Petunia like that" came the grunting voice of Vernon.

"Oh you do talk! And just when I started to like the Mute act" Severus said, in mock smile.

Just in time to prevent an all out fight, Lilys parents stepped into the garden.

"What a crowded house we have today!" her father exclaimed.

He shook Vernons hand amicably and turned to Lily and Severus.

For a moment his eyes became as large as teacups, then he glanced at Lily and extended his hand nevertheless.

"Andrew Evans" he said as Severus grabbed his hand.

"Severus Snape"

Her fathers face was chalk white now and Lily was lost for words. Her father actually looked scared stiff for some reason but after a few seconds his face was normal again though when he spoke it was softer then usually.

"Nice to meet you Severus, Im afraid I havent been told much about you yet"

"Likewise Sir, though I have heared everything I need to know about you from Lily" .

Dinner was relatively quiet, which was logical seen as Petunia and Vernon only spoke to Lilys mother and father and Severus only spoke when spoken to and settled to glance around a lot.

When Lilys parents went inside to do the dishes there was nothing to stop the whole thing from going wrong.

"So youre both at that freakschool right?" Vernon said nastily.

" I thought you were so keen to keep that a secret" Lily said matter of factly to Petunia.

"Can't blame her about that, if I had a freak of nature in my family I wouldnt want the world to know either"

"Really Dursley , coming from someone like you I would consider that a compliment" Severus sneered.

"Whats that greaseball, were you insulting me?"

"Well yes, I was actually. Im surprised you noticed."

Petunia spoke up.

"Never mind Vernon, I wouldnt expect anything else from the sort of people Lily brings back home with her"

"Good one Petunia, I shouldn't be bothering with their kind anyway"

"Good, the least we have to do with you the better anyway" Lily said, feeling her inner snake rising nexto Severus.

"You are the biggest kind of weirdo I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, I can hardly believe youre related to someone like my Petunia" Vernon said extremely venomous to Lily.

"Why dont you be a man and adress me?", Severus said, "Or are you only man enough to insult a lady?"

"Did I ask you for your opinion, greaseball?"

"No but neither have we asked for yours and the record your act is growing old muggle" Severus said in his most dangerous tone. "

"What did you just call me?"

"I called you a muggle. Basically it means youre a talented, spineless coward, to cut it short."

Petunia shrieked while Lily was enjoying every moment of it, it fed her inner snake deliciously and she could smell the fight in the air.

Vernon had pushed Severus against the wall, his massive fist crushing Severus shoulder. But Severus was trained after all those years at Hogwarts, to expect an attack and had already swiped his wand out.

With a quick prod Vernon had backed away from Severus, gripping his own arm in misery. Petunia howled and ran towards them.

"What have you done to my arm?" Vernon squealed.

"It is only an Itching spell. Nobody will be able to see it… the more you scratch the longer it will take to fade. Perhaps now you'll learn some self control." Severus said in his most victorious voice.

Needless to say, the rest of the evening went along quite smoothly. Vernon Dursley had set of to home rather early and Petunia locked herself up in her room in protest.

The moon was clearly visible when Severus announced that he would have to leave aswell.

"I need to get back to Malfoy Manor before Lucius sends out a search party for me. "

"Can we meet again this holiday?", Lily answered, "As you can see, theres not much that keeps me here"

"I think that shouldnt be too much of a problem, I'll owl you as soon as I can" Severus said, holding Lilys chin in his hand. She smiled up at him.

They shared one last kiss before Severus waved and disappeared infront of Lilys eyes.

When Lily walked upstairs her parents were once again fighting behind closed doors. She had become used to it but when she heard her name she stopped dead in her tracks.

"I do not want Lily to see him anymore!" her father shouted.

"Andrew you wont be able to stop Lily from seeing Severus" her mother said, sounding tired and anxious.

"I dont care! She cant continue seeing him anymore dont you understand ?"

"Understand what Andrew, perhaps its time you actually were honest with us for a change!"

"Its 'his' son Rose!"

Lily couldnt stand anymore of this and banged the door open.

"Who's son?"


	7. Misguided

** A/N.**

** I am SO sorry that it took me so incredibly long to update. In between a new job and HBP I have been extremely busy. Not to mention it is very odd to write about Severus Snape now that practically everyone has digested HBP. Nevertheless I did promiss myself that I would finish the story no matter what and I will simply have to adapt certain plots I had in mind. **

** A great big THANK you to all those that have left reviews. I love every last one of them. This is a real in betweener that should give away a bit of the plot if you read carefully enough. I am regrouping the characters so expect a bit of a different twist from now on. **

**To anyone that wishes to beta, Id love a beta but Im not active enough to go pimp my story everywhere begging for help. So if youd like to beta, please let me know.**

Chapter 7: Misguided

Much to Severus displeasure he did not see Lily again this holiday, he was stuck at Malfoy Manor for the remaining of the holiday, barely surving a travesty of a Social Gathering where Florence Meadows tried her very best to seduce him. He was unhappy to leave the only source of information on his parents but he was most glad to get out of Malfoy Manor, where who you knew was the most important thing.

Lilys holidays could not have ended worse. She did not get a confession out of her father about why she could not see Severus anymore and she had even neglected to say goodbye to him when she left on Platform 9 ¾ . Part of her foul temper was the fact that she had not seen Severus again that holiday and when they finally did return to Hogwarts, Owl panic was errupting everywhere. Teachers did nothing to help, except if you count more and more homework as a form of helping out.

On the very first evening back Lily had decided to leave for the library a bit earlier as she wanted to catch up on her Charms work a bit more before the OWLs would start. After wich she would have a last night of working with Severus on their DADA assignment.

When she made her way for the Advanced Charms section the one person whos eyes and gaze

she had been avoiding sat there, happily reading a book. Remus Lupin gave his girlfriend (who Lily recognized as Jeanny Greengrass, a sweet blond Hufflepuff girl and a Prefect) a last kiss. She smiled up at Lily in passing.

"Remus" Lily said

"Lily" he answered.

She wanted to settle down with "Wicked Achievements in Charms" but she couldn't focus. After 15 minutes she was still looking at the Index, her tongue dry but her mind was racing with a thousand things she wanted to say. For all the nerve she possessed in this world, they seemed to have shrunken to nothing. Yet she had to say something. Anything.

"Come on Evans, say something, he wont bite" her inner snake jeered her on.

"Remus I just wanted to …" she began just as he opened his mouth and said "Lily, I have to say…"

They both looked up at another and Lily started to laugh, unable to help herself while Remus smiled broadly.

"You go first" he said.

"I just wanted to say thank you, obviously you have not yet said anything to Potter seen as - "

"Snape is still unscratched" Lupin finished her sentence.

"I really appreciate it, it would be quite something, well you know what this school is like"

"Indeed I do. And I am not one to take other peoples secrets lightly but I have to at the very least warn you – "

" I was afraid you might"

"Lily, what if word gets out, do you really think youll be able to stand your ground?"

"I think so" she said, bearing the slightest tone of getting annoyed.

" Do you really? Do you understand what would happen?"

"I …"

"Not only would the Slytherins be slightly annoyed with Severus, to say the least, but the Gryffindors would ofcourse react simular to you. Now we know none of our house would

fysically hurt you but can you expect Slytherin house to be so understanding with Severus?"

Lily frowned, she hadnt even thought of that. She had thought of a lot of things. But the thought fysical hurt hurt to Severus hadnt crossed her mind.

"Severus is very capable of taking care of himself" she decided.

"Believe me, I have witnessed this myself", said Lupin, "But it will be the majority of his

' friends' versus himself wich is quite a difference from Sirius having a go at him"

" I know"

"Do you love him?" Lupin suddenly asked.

"Yes I do".

"Why?"

" Because he is different then anyone I have ever met. He is smart, he is kind to me, he doesnt care I am muggleborn …he – "

"Unless I am very much mistaken, so does James"

"Dont go there Remus, I know what youre trying to do." Lily whispered, looking up as footsteps were moving along in between the rows of books behind them.

They both turned their heads briskly to see Madame Pince lurking behind them, inspecting books that had been returned to the library as she put them back in their rightful place. Muttering to herself about punishing those that manhandled "innocent covers and helpless books"

"I wish youd think about it Lily I mean when you think about it he also is – "

"An egocentric, stubborn, bully who likes to pick on people who he thinks are weaker then him"

Remus gave Lily a nod, allowing her to take in what she had just said and let it sink

Lily knew exactly what he ment. She could not say in honesty that Severus was innocent of such behavior.

"I .. you're right" she admitted.

"Im not trying to influence you here Lily, you are quite capable to decide for yourself", Lupin said kindly as he lay he hand on her shoulder and smiled, " but I can only tell you not to exclude what your mind tells you is wise when it comes to making decisions of the heart"

Lily felt insecure about her relationship with Severus for the first time. She knew that Remus Lupin had a point. If anyone was ever going to find out and telltale it would be excruciatingly difficult. But she didnt want to think of how right Lupin was, she didnt want to think of the surviving chances her relationship with Severus had.

"Thank you" was all she could managed as they both stood up. Unable to identify where the sudden emotion came from, she threw her arms around him and gave Remus a heartwarming hug, which he gently returned.

**- - -**

Severus Snape was in a particulary good mood. Not only did he have a good round in Potions, in wich he had outsmarted Professor Slughorn on the use of Honeysuckled Horns but he also had an evenings worth of work on the DADA assignment with Lily. He knew she'd probably had beaten him to the library already and sure enough when he entered and stalked the row of books he could hear her voice. It was accompanied by another more hoarse voice and as he heard who it was, his breath caught in his longues.

"Do you love him?" came the voice of Lupin Remus. Before Severus could spy on her answer he heared shuffling footsteps and threw himself in the darkest shadows he could find.

When the old bat had moved on he pressed himself to hear more of the conversation

"I wish youd think about it Lily I mean when you think about it he also is – "

"An egocentrical, stubborn, bully who likes to pick on people who he think s are weaker then him"

His mind went completely blank when he looked up again between Seeers Devine and Finding The Future and saw that not only did Remus Lupin have the nerve to badmouth him to Lily. She, in her turn had embraced him.

He thought of hexing Remus Lupin as he saw him make his way out of the library but realized there was more then enough time to do that in a more public location.

The nerve of that filth to do this to Severus, while Severus had never done anything to him but ignore the fact that he never did anything to stop his precious friends from humiliating him. A foul beast was roaring from the pit of his stomach, urging him on to do horrible things to the already scarred face of that filthy Gryffindor. And she. How dare _she _of all people!

Inside him there was still a rage battling as he walked upto the table where Lily was sitting several minutes later.

"Hello Severus" she said as she smiled up at him broadly as he sat down opposite of her.

" Evans" he sneered, ignoring the shocked look on her face.

"Severus what is –"

"I think I have sufficiently covered the last part on the Imperius Curse during our last meeting. I dont think there is any need for more work tonight, I just thought Id present my copy of our assignment to you and let you adapt it so that your work can at least_ try_ to be of the same quality as mine. " he said monotonous and still not looking up.

"Severus I dont understand – "

She tried grabbing his hand but he only pulled it away from her even further, scratching her hand pretty badly with his quill in the process. When he heard her gasp and clap her hand, he looked up. Her face was bewildered and in shock.

"What have I done wrong?" she whispered.

"Nothing I shouldnt have expected from a mudblood like you." he said without the slightest tone of remorse in his voice.

Her eyes were now filled with tears, but he suspsected it had little to do with the fact that blood was flowing from the great slash he had caused on her hand. He smiled malicously up at the tears that were now streaming on her face and watched her run out of the Library with a mixture of vengence, pleasure and downright guilt.

Lily fought back more tears as she made her way to the Hospital Wing, only to avoid more questioning looks then she was already getting. Luckily Madame Pomfrey was both very capable (it only took a single flick of her wand for the wound to heal) and she wasnt very nosy. Though Lily did catch her looking very inquiring, she did not ask her any questions.

She could however, not understand what made Severus behave the way he had just done. All the way back up to Gryffindor Tower did she think about what could have happened to make Severus behave the way he had just done but after she had given the Fat Lady the password (cobblestone) and had climbed into the portrait hole she decided it was time for bed rather then time to worry.

But Lily had slept so uneasy and so little that she woke up with the feeling that she would have done better not to go to bed at all. But the worst thing of all was the fact that she had a lovely hour of Potions up ahead, which they shared with the Slytherins as they always had done on Wednesday.

And as usual Professor Slughorn was enthousiastic untill the point of positively booming. His walruslike moustache curled in delight as he announced that they would be brewing a Purifying Potion, a Potion wich was mostly used to identify the different ingredients in a poison.

Lily knew this would be an easy one but she preferred not loose her concentration anyway as it always had been so that students had ended up with a few hairs less or a few singed clothes when they lost concentration and she did not fancy going to Madame Pomfrey again soon.

When they were halfway (or were supposed to be) through the process of their Potion, Professor Slughorn had thought of the brilliant idea of a Pop Quiz. Several people around Lily grunted and she saw Severus sink back into his chair looking completely and utterly relaxed.

"Who here can tell me about Newtans Rule?" Professor Slughorn asked loudly, looking those he expected to be able to answer the question in the face. Severus raised his hand.

"Yes Severus m'boy go ahead"

"Newtans Rule says that plants, fungi, and shrubbery that have been raised from your own care and in your own garden are preferred for use in your Potions rather then ingredients acquired from others"

"Absolutely correct, 20 points to Slytherin" he beamed up at Severus, "Now can anyone tell me why this is ?"

Lily raised her hand automatically and Slughorn waved his hand up at her.

"Miss Evans"

"This is said to be so because the magical link is much stronger when the keeper of the plants is the same as the one that harvests them and uses them for a Potion "

"Enchantingly correct, have 20 points to Gryffindor" Slughorn roared, clapping his hands together.

Below, a Slytherin Lily recognized as Yaxley whispered something to Severus who sniggered in an odd sort of way.

"Whatever it is you can share it with us " Professor Slughorn said, unable to recognize the dangerzone he just entered.

"I was just telling Severus how amazing it is that, quite like dogs, you can train Mudbloods too" Yaxley said looking up at Lily unabashed.

Something had exploded in the classroom., several things happened at once. Lily saw James Potter throw his chair back and pointing his wand up at Yaxley, Peter Pettigrew had clasped his hand infront of his mouth and Remus Lupin was holding back a struggeling Sirius Black while most of the Slytherins were roaring with laughter.

"ENOUGH" boomed the voice of Professor Slughorn. The whole class fell silent immediately except for the Slytherins who were finishing up their gales of laughter with a few good sniggers.

Slughorn was now pointing his wand to his throat and said "Quietus".

"Yaxley there is never any need for such language in my class, if you do so ever again you will find yourself scrubbing the bedpans in the Hospital Wing, without magic" he said looking very cross indeed.

"Thats it?" an angry voice came from behind Lily, who closed her eyes in fright when she recognised it.

"Thats it?", James Potter repeated, " he insulted Evans and he gets away with it?"

"Mr. Potter I hardly think it is any business of yours to tell me how to run my class is it now?" Slughorn said.

"You Slytherins are all the same - " James started but was interrupted, much to the delight of the Slytherins , by Remus Lupin.

"James, for once, please hold your tongue"

" I'd listen to him if I were you Potter. You really are out of place here to talk about getting away without punishment" came the sneering voice of Severus.

"While you little greasy – " came the voice of Sirius Black who was halfway through jinxing Snape when he keeled over rigid as a board.

It was that wich unleashed the whole class into the realm of chaos. Hexes were flying around freely and Professor Slughorn had to use quite a few Full Body Bind curses to stop it all from escalating even more.

Lily tried to keep her head cool but she noticed how Florence Meadows was aiming for Remus Lupins back and before she knew what she was doing; Lily had sent a Jelly Legs Jinx her way causing Florence to jiggle all the way up and down, squirming for help.

She took her eyes of the dancing Florence as she saw that Severus was now taking aim at James Potter. Her conscience tore her apart but she decided that if Severus was going to be mad at her shed give him a reason and took aim for Severus. He too keeled over rigid as a board.

Professor Slughorn had neither been kind nor forgiving. Everyone involved in the fight (and that was just about the whole class) had been giving a detention. Lily noted hers down as cauldron scrubbing duty the next day.

- - -

Severus Snape made his way to the Potions Dungeon once more next day, feeling more then displeasure when he thought back at how the previous day had ended. He couldnt care less that he had received detention, it were the words of Zabini that had made him so angry.

All day yesterday, each time they were alone, Zabini had taken great pleasure in announcing how Lily had hexed him.

When he swung open the doors to the dungeons, he only became more disgruntled when he saw who he was sharing his detention with. Lily. Slughorn was either completely blind to what had happened or he was doing this on purpose.

"Severus , please sit down and start your detention" Slughorn said, who was clearly trying not to show his usual favoritism.

After have an hour scrubbing, Slughorn stood up and said " I have business to attend to in the Headmasters office, but I will only be away for 10 minutes, I am sure you two will be able to control yourself, if not I will be seeing you two in here each day for the rest of this month"

Severus kept glancing up at Lily from the corner of his eye and saw how she kept tossing back her long red hair so it wouldnt end up in her way.

"Did you enjoy following the great lead of your Gryffindor cohorts by hexing me?" he said, taking even himself by surprise at what he had just said.

She turned around and he was suprised to see how angry she looked.

"I did, actually. I figured since you had an completely unobvious reason to be angry at me, I might aswell give you an obvious one too"

"I have always known Gryffindors were unsubtle but you top the lot of them Evans."

"You have absolutely no idea what the hell youre talking about … Snivellus…" she said.

She drew herself up to her conciderable length and Snape flared up.

" I see youre fitting in perfectly with your new friends already, how does it feel to be part of Potters gang now?", he sneered, "I didnt know Potter would share his girlfriend with Remus Lupin though"

Lily looked like she had just been slapped in the face. She even staggered on her feet.

"Is this what its all about? Remus Lupin?"

"I am glad to see you caught on, finally"

"Severus, did you spy on us in the library?"

" I didnt have to spy, you were talking so loud anyone could have overheared you two"

"What did you hear?" Lily asked, throwing her hair back roughly.

"You. Complimenting me how wonderfully egocentric and stubborn I am. " Severus said with an uncontrollable sneer.

"If you would have actually listened in properly, Severus Snape, you would have also heard that it wasnt about you we were talking, but about James Potter. In fact, Remus Lupin had just told me that I am free to chose whoever I love ."

Severus looked up at her, his eyebrow raised, looking and sounding a lot braver then he felt.

"Dont lie to me Evans"

" I am not lying Severus! Have I ever lied to you?"

Severus did not know what to answer, ofcourse she hadnt but he felt a sort of vindictive pleasure on how he was making her pay for what she had done.

"Answer me!" she hissed, "if I mean anything to you , if our relationship means anything to you, now is the time to show it Severus."

She was now so close to him he could count her eyelashes.

"Severus Snape, does our relationship mean so little to you that you will not believe my word on this?"

He didnt answer. Partially because the animal inside him was still screaming out that he needed more revenge, partially because he did not know what to answer. When he didnt answer, he saw, for the second time in a much too short period, how the eyes he loved so much filling up with great big tears.

Before he could react to it, the door swung open and Professor Slughorn entered back in, a Crystalised Pineapple clutched in his big hands.

"That will do, that will do" he said jovially, waving his wand and the cleaned cauldrons zoomed on top of eachother and back into the corner of the room.

Severus felt empty though strangely satisfied when he saw how Lily walked up to Gryffindor Tower, alone.

**- - - **

Two weeks went passed before guilt starting taking big swipes at Severus. He would never admit it, but the days he spent without having a meeting with Lily to look forward to, were days that passed as if they were months. He cought himself looking at her during breakfasts and dinners, wondering how on earth she could look so normal. She was even laughing at some idiot comments that silly McKinnon girl kept making. It unnerved him more than anything.

But one morning presented a nice distraction for Severus, a haughty looking Eagleowl landed right infront of him, a roll of parchment bound to its leg. Severus quickly untied it before Zabini had even more time to be curious.

_Severus, _

_Please send me, by return owl , the date of your next Hogsmeade visit. _

_I have some more news on the things we discussed in the Christmas Holidays, as long _

_as you understand that this is not common knowledge or information, I will be happy to _

_share it with you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Lucius Malfoy._

_- - - _

The day of the Hogsmeade visit arrived leaving Severus in an even gloomier then before, if possible. Perhaps it was the way disgustingly happy couples were glued to eachother as if they were hit with a Permanent Sticking Charm. The fluffy pink decorations didnt help either. Werent all witches supposed to be obsessed with Valentines Day? Why hadnt she said anything yet?

Severus decided to use the Disillusioment Charm once more to avoid any questions and sneaked out behind the last batch of students that made their way to the town.

Only when he had reached the point where he was supposed to meet Lucius did he lift the Charm. As expected, only a mere few seconds later, Lucius Malfoy apparated out of nowhere, trademark smirk on his face and malicious glint in his eyes.

"Ah Severus, how good of you to meet me here" he drawled, grabbing Severus hand and shaking it briefly. Lucius scanned the surroundings with a swift sweep of his cold grey eyes.

"These documents that I promised you are a copy of orginal documents of a Wizarding Authority in Britain. As you very well understand, I can not provide you with the original. Yet I would appreciate it if you did not share them with anyone." Lucius said putting stress on words in the right places.

Severus nodded, stuffing the roles of parchment in his pocket. Before he could ask the question that had been burning the answer apparated out of nowhere.

"Ah Fudge, good to see you" Lucius said lazily, shaking Fudges hand.

A pudgy little wizard wearing a pinstriped cloak and a limegreen bowlerhat turned on the spot.

"Fudge I want you to meet a dear friend of mine, Severus." Lucius said.

"How do you do " Fudge said to Severus, extending a hand. Severus noticed the man had a weak smile, an even weaker handshake and a slightly dazed look on his face.

"Now Severus, I shall have to meet you again later, I have business to attend to with Cornelius" drawled Lucius, inclining his head slightly to Fudge.

_"Another excellent occasion to visit 'The Snakesbelly'_ " thought Severus. 

Bestowed with the usual customers, The Snakesbelly was perfect if you wanted a quiet place to yourself, undisturbed by nosy students.

Unrolling the piece of parchment Severus reprimanded himself not to expect too much, as to avoid disappointment later on.

**_December 2nd, 1962._**

_Closed hearing as part of the trial of Tobias Snape, hereafter referred as The Accused. _

_Judges present: _

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore: Supreme Mugwump, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Member of the Wizengamot. Hereafter referred to as APWBD._

_Cornelius Oswald Fudge: Junior Member of the Department of Magical Catastrophies, Member of the Wizengamot. Hereafter referred to as COF._

Witnesses for the Defence

_Abraxas Malfoy, hereafter referred to as AM_

_Witnesses for the Prosecution: _

_Gregory Prime, hereafter referred to as GP._

_The Accused stands trial for the murder of Eileen Prince- Snape, his spouse._

_The Accussed is said to have willingly, knowingly and fully understanding of his actions, to have administered Eileen Prince-Snape a deadly Potion and/ or Poison resulting in the death of Eileen Prince-Snape. _

_The Accused claims that he had no Potionskills that would suffice to brew such a Poison._

_APWBD acknowledges this, as The Accused did not receive an owl in Potions. _

_GP states that in his field of work accidental poisonings have never occurred and readymade Poisons and Potions can be bought ._

_AM points to the Accuseds clean record, Both APBWD and COF acknowledge this._

_COF asks GP on details of his findings on this matter. _

_GP explains how they managed to find an almost nonexisiting trace of a poison called "Serpentines Shadow"in Mrs Prince-Snapes body. He furthermore explains on how the Poison leaves a small hint on what the poison was mixed with and also a tiny bit of DNA of the culprit. He concludes with the fact that there had been a positive match with the DNA of the Accused._

_AM points out that a Lie-Detecting Charm and Veritaserum has been used on The Accused and that neither of them proved the Accused as guilty_

_The Judges state that the verdict will take place tomorrow at noon. _

**_December 3rd 1962_**

_After careful consideration and taking in mind the previous hearings, the jury has decided that Tobias Snape is guilty on the account of Murder on his wife, Eileen Prince-Snape. _

_The sentence will be , taking into consideration the Accuseds clean record and his pre-arrest time, a sentence of no more then 8 years in Azkaban Prison. _

_The Jury is convinsed that the testimony of GP in his role as head of the Departement of Potions and Mixtures has proved that Tobias Snape is guilty as charged._

_AM requests to know why they have left the Lie Detecting Charm and the Veritaserum out of their decision. _

_APBWD answers that the Jury has their reasons to question the credibility of the these pieces of evidence. _

_The Accused is read the verdict and is taken away by guards to Azkaban Prison. _

_COF declares the trial and hearing as closed._

Dazed, Severus let the piece of parchement glide from between his fingers.

So this is what happened, Lucius was right, his father had not been giving a fair trial. Why had they left out the evidence of his innocence. Why had they ignored the Lie Detecting Charm and Veritaserum?

The Headmaster of his own school had sentenced this father to a stint in Azkaban. Because he had _his reasons to suspect._

Severus was slowly reaching boiling point as he stepped out of the SnakesBelly, he furiously wished Black would turn up and would give him an outlet for his fury. He leaned against a tall lamp post, a million things rushing through his mind, none of them making any sence.

Instead he renewed his Disillusioment Charm and sneaked back into the castle. He thought about heading back for his dorm but he knew that the walls had too many eyes and ears there. So there was only one place left for him.

"I need some time alone, I need some time alone, I need some time alone" he though, pacing

up and down infront of a blank piece of wall.

When the wall had finally become a door and Severus stepped in, he saw that he was not alone.

**- - -**

Lily had returned from Hogsmeade early. She had shared no enthousiam to hang around with Alice and "Franky-Panky" at Madame Puddifoots.

Florish and Blotts had been her only stop on her way to the castle where she bought a battered old book of wich she was even unsure shed ever need it.

The Room of Requirement was a great hide out. She doubted many people knew of this wonderfull room but she was thankfull so because the last thing she wanted to do was to walk into Danny Davies and his girlfriend of the month.

_Severus._

Who wouldnt believe her.

It was a source of great annoyance, his behavior, yet she was more sad about it then anything.

Tears were born in the corner of her eyes, slowly morphing into big fat leaks.

She startled and turned to find just that person in the doorway wich had materialised out of nowhere.

" Oh its you" said Severus Snape.

"Yes its always a pleasure to see you too" Lily said, much snarkier then she felt.

They just looked at eachother, or in Severuss case, carefully avoiding Lilys eyes.

"I miss you" she suddenly said, not really waiting for a witty response she continued. "I really do miss you, it feels empty without you like – "

"Like everyone in this castle cant make up for missing your presence"

"Yes. And it seems like the last weeks passed like – "

"Like they were years?" he finished her sentence once more.

"Yes" she admitted, stepping closer to him.

"Im…."he started but she held two fingers upto his lips.

"I know you are" she said, as her lips touched his.

The kiss was unlike any other kiss they ever shared before. They seemed to melt together, their bodies were entangled like two snakes and neither of them was planning on letting the other one go first. The world seem stop turning and time seemed to have gone beserk.

After what seemed like days they let go of eachother.

"I brought you something" she whispered in his ear as he carried her towards the loveseat.

"What is it?"

"Youll need it next year, I saw this when I was shopping for my books at the beginning of this year" she said, handing him a grubby brown wrapped gift.

He tore the wrappings of and found a book called "Advanced Potions Making" inside.

"Thank you" he uttered, at this bout of confidence she has just shown him.

"I have something for you aswell" he said

Technically it wasnt a lie. He did have something for her only it wasnt really a gift nor had he planned on giving it to her.

H reached into his robepocket and got out the ring his mother had left him. It had exactly the same colour as her eyes.

He placed it around her finger and watched how her eyes grew in surprise.

"Severus its…gorgeous" she whispered.

"It used to be my mothers"

She looked stunned by this information and suddenly her face broke into a

malicious smile

" I have something else for you" she said.

"What is it?"

"Me"


End file.
